I’m going to save up for a new motorcycle by running a scam where I bet straight dudes at bars twenty bucks that I can get a girl’s number in under five minutes and then politely walk up her and say, “I just bet that asshole twenty bucks that I could get your number. I’ll split it with you if you pretend to laugh like I just said a good pick up line and then write a fake number on my hand.”
Like, I never understood those kind of bets in those shitty teen movies. Everybody loves being part of a scheme, man. Use your head.
If anyone ever does this to me I’ll call them out on being a con artist.
Joke’s on you, buddy. That’ll only have consequences the first, what, couple dozen times? I can take a punch.
But then eventually, I’ll have money for the bike, and whenever I get called out, I’ll just speed off, and, sure, maybe I crash and die in a gutter and the police can’t figure out why I have hundreds of fake phone numbers stuffed in my jacket and it launches a huge investigation that becomes sort of a local legend, but you know whose problem that is? Not fucking mine.
Because I’m a slutty motorcycle ghost, and who’s gonna’ stop me then? The ghost cops? Nice try. Everybody knows cops can’t become ghosts because they just go straight to hell. It’s basic math.
Moral of the story, don’t be a con artist or you will die in a horrible accident and become a lonely ghost.
First of all, don’t you ever accuse me of having morals, narrative or otherwise, ever again.
And second, where did I say I’d be lonely? I’d be a ghost on a motorcycle. That’s the sexiest thing that there is. You look me in the eyes and tell me you wouldn’t bone Ghostrider. Look me in the goddamn eyes.
Anonymous asked: the hole june egbert is new to me , but i don't know why people think john is trans? i just thought he was a good example of non toxic masculinity. but i still love your drawings
John’s narrative in the epilogues - specially candy- feels very trans-like. He’s reached a point in his 20s where he is depressed, shut in, expectant and feels like he’s under-performing and the whole world is either fake or not working ‘RIGHT’, he acts under the assumption that all of his discomfort with how his adult life is going (growing up, marrying up, having kids, growing a mustache, seeing everyone get into their het+baby nuclear families) is due to a problem with the world ITSELF, and not something within him that’s gone wrong.
1) it is definitely to do with his depression.
2) depression caused by unrecognized dysphoria feels exactly like this. (”dysphoria” is a word that is thrown around so much and in such violent-heavy contexts that people completely forget or are not aware how much more subtle and insidious the feeling of not being quite right on your body and assuming you’re the one doing ‘you’ wrong can be)
Going from that, John’s narrative in homestuck proper CAN be read in a completely new light. June Egbert comes from how that narrative resonates with trans people who discovered they are trans WAY LATER in life (roxy showed one example of that, this is another context altogether) and how interesting egbert’s inability to allow himself to introspect in the context of gender/sexuality (mildly freaking out about roxy/dave’s coming outs, laughing nervously and brushing it off) is a symptom of something bigger. Little suburban boy raised in a cishet white picket fence environment suddenly feeling like something’s gone wrong on his development and he really hates the idea and concept of being a ‘he’ at all- and then come the girls.
During HS, john is largely directed by/instructed by/projected on by women who are perceived to be either more capable, wise or cunning than him. (jade, rose, vriska, terezi) a LARGE part of his story is john allowing himself to go along with their larger than life personalities even when they’re doing goofy or weird things- because it seems like the right thing to do. And Then There’s The Thing About The Daughters
“June” itself comes from a pesterlog where john is talking with vriska and jokes about reading his own name as a very long spelling of ‘june’ - the first rose/kanaya pesterlog chronologically is actually john pretending to be rose and speaking on her quirk - John has an habit of making his NPC’s daughters like they’re dolls in a playhouse scenario where he only allows himself to play with in the concept because he’s hiding under the guise of playing the father (like nic cage) But he always tends towards the feminine.
was this intended coding? definitely not.
is it still effectively coding to a potential trans woman narrative, to the point a lot about john’s repressed rage, refusal to introspect, and repression of his own feelings in favour of attending to the plot and his friend’s/life’s expectations first and before himself all become interconnected and with a greater meaning? YES.
and besides, it’s also really fun. i think it says a lot that the author of the character found the reading to be interesting and got excited about it himself. it’s 2019! turns out john ‘i’m not a homosexual’ egbert was maybe just a lesbian trans girl all along. (this is all stuff im going off of my reread, there’s definitely way more articulate thoughts/pesterlog screencaps from people who have been compiling june meta posts on twitter!)
