Hate to be Old on main but more uquizzes need an “i have no idea who these people are” option for questions like ‘pick an artist’ like please kids i literally haven’t been up to date on whats Popular on the radio since 2014
Anonymous asked: So, disregarding the fact that you know they're false, what is your favourite conspiracy theory about Egypt or which one amuses you the most?
Ohh the Abydos carvings of ‘tanks and helicopters’
Despite totally having all these tanks and helicopters, Ramesses II never shows them anywhere and certainly never uses them in battle…like at Kadesh. Preferring to use the much mightier *checks notes* horse drawn chariot, which he *checks notes again* stole from the people he fought at Kadesh.
“Sir, shall we deploy the helicopters and tanks to dispatch the Mittani and restore balance in accordance with Ma’at?”
“Nah we’re gonna use chariots and horses, and fire from them with bow and arrows’
“But sir…the tanks are equipped with our latest Set ballistic shells that release cock shaped shrapnel, which will both kill and humiliate the enemy much faster”
“No tank…only horse”
Historical Documentary Narrator Voice: The Battle of Kadesh ended in a bloody stalemate, and a historic peace agreement in which both sides saved face by pretending that they were the ones who came up with the idea of a peace treaty in order to make them seem like the bigger and more magnanimous civilisation. *turns to the camera* This could all have been avoided if Ramesses II had just used his tanks as Ancient Aliens has so diligently been trying to tell us since the History Channel gave up on producing relevant content.
can’t believe your favourite theory isn’t the dinosaurs cmon now
In my defense, this shitpost predates our discovery of T-Rex’s in hardhats building the Pyramids.
Have not a single One of you considered the possibility that they didn’t use the tanks neither the choppers because they ran out of fuel
Ancient Aliens tells us very reliably that they had solar power and light bulbs, like this one:
Their fuel is electricity. It powers their tanks, and is totally not something mythological about the sun god Ra emerging from a lotus flower to come into being. Just magic alien snake lightbulbs making tank and chopper fuel. Trust them, they’re the History Channel and are very good with history. History Channel would never lie to us.
