so bq lore time but when i was 12/13 i was. really into sweeney todd. like an embarrassing amount. sure the movie sucked and no one could actually sing and i was unhealthily VIBIN with mrs lovetts tiddies but like. i do unfortunately have some takes on this
judge turpin sucks
judge turpin is literally a dude who uses his power and corruption to falsely imprison a man so he can get to his wife
judge turpin does that and then RAPES HER AT A PARTY. IN FRONT OF PEOPLE.
THEN HE GETS CUSTODY OF HER DAUGHTER BECAUSE SHE LOSES THE ABILITY TO FUNCTION AFTER SHE TRIES TO KILL HERSELF. BECAUSE HE RAPED HER
THEN HE GROOMS HIS ADOPTIVE DAUGHTER AND SPIES ON HER AND PROBS MOLESTS HER BC LETS BE REAL. HE HAS PEEPHOLES AND WANTS TO MARRY HER EVEN THO SHES FIFTEEN AND HE RAPED HER MOM.
like on those points alone i cannot fucking stand this guy. he’s the worst. he’s so bad. he’s sooooo fucking bad. but wait, there’s more!
no fashion sense
mouth breather
look at this butch. he’s all like “oh i’m going to look to the right so everyone can admire my face UwU” but then. this is the worst
These crusty ass nails. his long ass dirty nails. to be fair i think tim burton has a kink for ungroomed people who bathe in filth he he keeps johnny depp around but holy SHIT. this guy thinks he’s worth any woman’s time??? CUT YOUR NAILS YOU STUPID BITCH
tl;dr: judge turpin is HORRIBLE and BAD and yet i’ve seen fanfic where he’s romanticized bc he’s like, “just like snape :)” which in all honesty says a lot about some people
some kinnie: how dare you say jane crocker is a capitalist??? in my timeline she was a butch lesbian communist and you’re problematic for saying this :(
I know that officially Doctor Mario is just Mario dressed as a doctor, but I choose to believe that he’s Mario from an alternate timeline because it’s the option that lends itself to shenanigans.
Doctor Mario: Welp gotta head home. It’s our anniversary tomorrow and we’ve got an early flight to Delfino we have to catch
Mario:
Doctor Mario: Y’know most people follow that up with a little, ‘hey, happy anniversary’ or-
Mario: You’re married??
Doctor Mario:
Doctor Mario: You’re not????
Mario: No!! Who are you married to?????
Doctor Mario: To Tony!!!
Mario:
Doctor Mario:
Mario: WHO’S TONY??????
Doctor Mario: WHAT DO YOU MEAN ‘WHO’S TONY’???????????
I had to visualize this conversation so that my soul could rest.
Another one of these little weather fellas, Foggy Day.
He’s a depressed detective who stays hidden in the fog that spills out his mouth. He feels hollow most of the time but on rare occasions he will light up a yellow to red color when he feels an emotion such as happiness or anger. He gets along with Mr.Blue very well and enjoys their time together sitting on benches and just letting the world pass by.
