I hope that “between the crematorium and the dildo store” becomes a famous saying for whenever a person has lost in the most pathetic and undignified way possible. Sort of like how we still use the phrase “crossing the Rubicon” two thousand years after the event.
A reminder that Gritty’s official backstory is that during the Flyers stadium renovation, they uncovered an ancient chamber, and contained within it was Gritty
This is the also the myth of the creation of the dildo. And in some versions of the myth, Prosymnus’ soul was so overjoyed, that he was transferred to Elysium. That’s right, Dionysus rode Prosymnus’ pseudo-dick so good that he was moved to the Blessed AfterlifeTM
dionysus: can’t believe prosymnus died before I could keep my promise to let him bone me the nymphs: you don’t have to, you know dionysus, oiling up the world’s first dildo: no I’m gonna
Prosymnus’ soul literally ascended
Dionysus: What do you desire as payment brave psychopomp? I will give anything in my power as a god. How about a lyre that plays itself? Or a font of endless wine?
Prosymnus, who has been sweating with barely contained horny for the entire boat ride:
i can’t believe castiel went to super hell to turn georgia blue
please god let me find these things out normally I am begging you
If you go to the circus for news don’t complain if a clown tells it to you
“If you go to the circus for news don’t complain if a clown tells it to you” is the most accurate description of Tumblr I have ever read in my life good job tumblr user red-mercer for this gem of a line.
