Silver Tongue

May 24

sollay-b:
“second and last age chart… maaaybe? again, 13 to 18 to 23
”

sollay-b:

second and last age chart… maaaybe? again, 13 to 18 to 23

(via aeritus)

wilwheaton:

zahnegott-lives:

fieldbears:

ms-demeanor:

lyravelocity:

nihililithism:

notre-flame:

I really don’t understand anyone who still posts selfies at this point like. we’re all fully aware that the feds are monitoring us and using our photos to build a surprise database that will help them later it’s just not fucking worth it anymore 

Human brain: security culture

Monkey brain: validation nice

I will Not be cockblocked by spy nimrod fucks

I haven’t ever really talked about this before but I’d like to introduce a concept that I’m going to call “security nihilism.”

Here’s the deal: You’re already burned.

It’s over! There’s no going back! Your face is in a database and your DNA is in a database and your social profile is in a database and there’s nothing you can do about it. Even if you didn’t put it there somebody else did. Congrats, we’re all fucked!

Facebook builds shadow profiles on people who don’t have accounts. Surveillance cameras are everywhere. Your cousin signed up for Ancestry and your brother did 23&Me.

So what can you do about it? Essentially nothing. So there’s no point in panicking.

You know what you have to do if you want some kind of privacy? Start leaving your phone at home randomly. Or at work randomly. People don’t think about the fact that their cell phone’s location data (which is constantly tracking even if you don’t enable location data for apps) is a more effective way of tracking them than anything they post online and it’s *real* easy to get a warrant for that data. And if you suddenly ditch your phone for the first time in several months it’s suspicious as FUCK.

Automated license plate readers track your drive. Do you commute? Do you drive the same way every day? Why the sudden change to your routine? What were you doing that you needed to park your car and wander away suddenly? What are you hiding?

Complaining about people posting selfies when companies are compiling DNA databases sharing them with the FBI is like blaming ocean pollution on people using plastic straws when about half of plastic ocean trash is abandoned fishing equipment.

Do you use gmail? You’re fucked.

Do you have a bank account? You’re fucked.

Do you use public transportation? You’re fucked.

Do you go to school? You’re fucked.

Do you have a job? You’re fucked.

I had to track down a guy who didn’t have facebook or social media profiles, didn’t have a listing in the phonebook, didn’t have a linkedin. I started with his first and last name and ended with his supervisor’s phone number, a ten year history of his income, and his home address. I got to it through his son’s little league team.

And I’m fucking J. Random Nobody. I don’t even have shiny databases full of tracking data.

So you’re already burned. There’s no going back, we passed the tipping point. Even if you threw out your computer and shut down all your accounts and smashed your cell phone and lived in the woods there’d be video of you walking out of town for the last time and satellite images of wherever you ended up setting up camp.

I was never going to be able to hide from the cameras on the streets and the data in my cell phone and the scanners that look at the license plate of my car and the information that my school sold about my age and income and interests. So fuck it. Share a selfie.

[fyi the secret to actual opsec is to trust no one and to have no discernible patterns - being in a facial recognition database doesn’t matter if you make a point of not showing your face when you’re doing whatever you’re doing that you want to keep quiet; your goal isn’t to evade the facial recognition software as you’re on the run from the government, your goal is to never even show up on their radar]

Sorry folks, all of this is right. Getting judgmental at other people’s selfies and masking it as an opsec fail is just ignorant :D

jack off in front of your webcam while holding a sign that says “fuck u fed”

This really took a turn at the end.

(via stemmmm)

[video]

[video]

silver-tongues-blog asked: my hot take is and always has been that anti is the jack from the cool patrol universe. You know, the one that died at the end.

nofacednerd:

woah this certainly is a spicy hot take

baptizm:

onlorakeetwings:

pinkgoodra:

image

this is honestly how some of y’all sound

officer, that’s my emotional support two-liter of vodka lemonade

Some of us??? Drink and drive??? To cope????

(via robustquestioner)

shorthalt:

a-rich-friendship:

shorthalt:

arctic-chameleonus:

shorthalt:

my favorite scp ever is scp 1171 and i just discovered them yesterday.

they live in a different dimension and can only communicate through writing on the constantly foggy windows of the house they inhabit. their name is beauremont. and they just. fucking hate humans. it’s so funny. and the best part is that they befriend someone in our dimension who works for the scp, not realizing that they’re human, and so that human is just sorta their roommate now because they’re the only one who doesn’t piss beauremont off. it’s so fucking funny.

image

My thembro Beauremont got fucking catfished

it’s been over a week and i still haven’t recovered from this absolutely fucking stellar addition to my post. this is literally so fucking funny.

Y'all are sleeping on this one

image

A Nerf Maverick that was modified by some random dude to make anything it shoots instantly worse.

image
image
image

i thought it could get funnier than the coke turning into a pepsi but then he shot the fucking dvd of willy wonka and i lost my mind

(via nofacednerd)

[video]

zoe-of-the-veil:

spiroandthelacktones:

ehlihr:

i think that the notre dame cathedral was built by aliens. i mean, theres no way those folks could have built such an incredible structure like that, so if it wasnt built by aliens, it had to be helped by aliens.

yeah i mean were talking about a primitive civilization that just dumped their shit in the streets and people think that they built that all by themselves ??? no way they definitely had help, thinking it could have been from aliens isn’t that much of a stretch given how often their religious art shows strangely proportioned people coming from the sky to help them

These kind of structures would have taken decades to make with the level of technology and labor they had at the time. It’s pretty clear it that a more advanced species made them

i think the aliens left after their followers cannibalized some of them. I mean, we’re talking about a primitive society who regularly consumed the flesh and blood of the beings they worshiped

(via robustquestioner)

biafraandthebanshees:

bummedout-bisexual:

My favorite type of characters are “they’re not dumb but they are a dumbass”

image

Originally posted by andthwip

(via newbarrk)