[video]
(Source: hilarioushumorfromouterspace, via filibusterfroggo)
“do you have any pets?”
[remembers girls like sensitive guys] a cat
“what is his name?”
[remembers girls also like tough guys] missile launcherOn one hand that is a perfectly valid name for a cat but on the other hand you gotta get a cat now because there’s no chance she doesn’t want to meet them.
Adopt one that’s already named Missy
(Source: cuteness--overload, via robustquestioner)
[video]
(Source: no-chill-at-all, via robustquestioner)
new pee idea
(via bloodsbane)
today some guy very confidently ordered a “Busted Nut Parfait” on drive thru without hesitation and i had to ask if he meant a peanut buster parfait without crying
update: today someone asked for a peanut buster parfait with “light syrup and heavy nut” and i laughed from the ice cream machine and he heard me
(via jadewares)
[video]
[video]
(Source: classpectanon)