the only strider-lalonde not to achieve ‘ultimate self’ by the end of the epilogues is roxy
candy is marked by the egbert-harleys being active [john deciding not to go back, jade pushing her relationship, jane starting the war, jake leaving jane] and the strider-lalondes being passive [dirk does what dirk does, roxy allows jane to become the type of dictator they fought against as a teen & spends their whole relationship with john being agreeable to a fault, dave lets jade push the direction of his life entirely, rose goes along with kanaya and revels in her narrative irrelevance]
by contrast, meat is marked by the egbert-harleys being passive [john doing what rose tells him to, jade gets possessed, jane lets dirk handle everything, jake is a political tool whose personality ultimately gets physically overwritten] and the strider-lalondes being active [dirk does what dirk does, dave incites karkat’s campaign, rose’s pushing results in john’s decision to go back]
except roxy. meat roxy has not gotten a moment of significant narrative agency. Yet
roxy is explicitly dear to both dirk and alternate calliope for different reasons
roxy and calliope presented the choice with clear ulterior motives that have yet to be revealed
roxy is the only character dirk cannot see into the mind of at all, and roxy & calliope’s relationship to each other and to alt calliope has been shown entirely through passing remarks and is very, very under the radar
with the death of john, roxy is the only person in the world of meat to have come from a different canon, meaning he is the only one in a story abt the value of narrative crossover and transformative work to have an actual narrative crossover
roxy’s dealings with gender and the way they connect to their body in candy arguable constitute an exact opposite of the ultimate self - a complete comfort in who a person is, right now, without worrying abt what could be
conclusion:
roxy lalonde is gonna fuck some shit UP
candy roxy and meat roxy are gonna team up to kick dirk and muses ass for ruining shit.
JOHN: but…
JOHN: i don’t actually have my wallet?
TEREZI: YOU DONT?
JOHN: no.
JOHN: i lost it years ago.
JOHN: i think i gave it to…
JOHN: damn. who was it.
JOHN: liv tyler, the bunny?
JOHN: or was it that short chess dude.
JOHN: shit!
TEREZI: WHY WOULD 1 T3LL YOU TO G1V3 M3 YOUR W4LL3T 1F YOU DON’T H4V3 1T
JOHN: i guess you didn’t realize i lost it??
JOHN: hell, even i can’t remember what items we still have half the time.
JOHN: terezi, just between you, me, unconscious vriska, and that dumb clown there, this adventure has been one huge mess.
TEREZI: WH4T COULD 3V3N B3 SO 1MPORT4NT 4BOUT G1V1NG M3 YOUR W4LL3T?
JOHN: hmm.
JOHN: actually, it says give “her” your wallet.
JOHN: did “her” mean you, or vriska?
TEREZI: ???
JOHN: i guess it’s a moot point, since i don’t have it.
JOHN: let’s just call it one small flaw in your otherwise mostly stupid plan, and get on with our lives.
TEREZI: 1T’S NOT MY PL4N!
JOHN: yes it is!
JOHN: or, was.
JOHN: i mean, will be.
JOHN: or… won’t be anymore? now that we changed stuff.
TEREZI: UGH, SHUT UP
TEREZI: M4YB3 1F YOU COULD T3LL M3 *WHY* W3 N33D TH3 W4LL3T, W3 COULD M4K3 OTH3R PL4NS TO COMP3NS4T3?
JOHN: um.
JOHN: i dunno. maybe you need to captcha something really big?
TEREZI: L1K3 WH4T
JOHN: i don’t know!
JOHN: it’s just some vague crap you wrote on a scarf!
KARKAT: JOHN????
JOHN: oh fuck.
