Silver Tongue

Apr 21

Friend: “Hey, I haven’t seen you in forever! how are you?”
me: “Fine, thanks.”
Lemony Snicket from outta nowhere: “Of course, in this case, ‘fine’ is only meant to reassure. She has never been less fine, nor was she ever fine in the first place. Here, the word ‘fine’ could be defined as ‘I am actually slowly dying on the inside, but don’t wish for anyone to worry’.

(Source: not-like-the-restaurant, via nofacednerd)

chefpyro:

Do you have the time, the stranger asks.
I do have the time.
I give him the time.
He turns to dust.
He could not handle the time.

adobsonartworks:

This is what I hate the most about nearly all online debates. Sometimes opposing sides are NOT equal, and we shouldn’t treat them as if they were.

(via robustquestioner)

cairo-overcoat:

(Source: roselalonde, via lime-time)

nuka-rockit:

fireflies: *congregate in a group of 10 million*
my eyes:

(via robustquestioner)

things that they won’t teach you in school

lornacrowley:

gishifu:
celestialess:
minesottafatspoollegend:
1. skeletor isn’t wearing a blue body suit, that is his skin
2. skeletor isn’t a skeleton, he just had his face burned off
3. skeletor isn’t actually undead
4. before skeletor had his face burned off, he looked like this
i…
so like is his name just a massive coincidence or
he’s named that because hes always had a skeleton inside of him

His name is keldor but he took on the name skeletor after his face was burned off to be more intimidating

(Source: themanslayer, via newbarrk)

Anonymous asked: found two silver chalices in a velvet box in this house in the woods, if i hypothetically drank from one how fucked do you think i am? should i leave the other out with wine in it or something not a joke thank you

vampireapologist:

godslittleconsolationprize:
vampireapologist:
i don’t know if this is a reference or something but this is so fucking funny i don’t even know what to tell you. absolute peak nonsense. i think you’re in a Huge amount of trouble but I don’t know how.
not a reference didn’t have wine so now one is sitting on the table full of grape juice
YOU NEED TO PUT THESE BACK

fae artifacts. two people must drink at the same time. One will receive great luck and the other will have their luck drained

(Source: femmedaraya, via aeritus)

bananonbinary:

homestuck as a concept is hilarious because andrew hussie has like, this massive amount of knowledge of computer coding and gnosticism and the english language and video games and story structure and clearly did tons of research into just an unthinkable amount of obscure topics but he didn’t know how a fucking mailbox flag works

(via newbarrk)

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