I need Harry’s friends and family never to let the “Roonil Wazlib is my nickname” thing go. Like, I want them to tease him about it for the rest of his life.
Ron on Harry’s stag night: “No, mate, no one’s going to screw up the ceremony or anything. Don’t worry! It’s going to be absolutely beautiful. ‘Ginny, do you take this man, Roonil Wazlib, to be your-’” Harry: “RON, PLEASE.”
Ginny after Harry’s Auror promotion: “I got you a cake to celebrate your promotion! I know you’ve been working hard for this.” Harry: “…I’m going to open this and it better not be one of those talking cakes.” Ginny: :) :) :) Singing Cake: “🎵CONGRATULATIONS, ROONIL WAZLIB!🎵” Harry: “…Ginny, please.”
Hermione, passing Harry in the hallway at the Ministry: “We’re getting dinner to celebrate my SPEW bill passing. I made the reservations at the usual place, under the usual name. I’ll see you there at seven.” Harry Potter, Senior Auror, the ex-Chosen-One: “Oh, no.” Hermione, later: “Table for two under Roonil Wazlib?” Harry: “…Hermione… please…”
Albus Severus, age 10, all too aware of his mother’s name choices: “Dad? Dad, can I ask you something…? You’re not asleep, right? Because Mum just told me I was almost named ‘Roonil Wazlib Junior’.” Harry, lying on the sofa with his eyes closed: “That’s true.” Albus Severus: “Dad, please.”
