Tiamat: Are you trying to imply that we, the queen of the nine hells and mother of dragons, came here for nothing?
Bard with sass: pretty sure youre only queen of one of nine hells-
Monk immediately trying to get the bard to stop talking: LET HER FINISH!
DM: three of her heads look at [bard] and stare daggers. you know shes full of bullshit but she also has an ego so big it can only be contained in five head
no other website has the same ambiance of gothic confusion and unrelatable obtuse content
they are a hapless pornbot who knows not of the end coming for their quivering female presenting nipples
mega spite
like normal spite but you’re posting dick pics before The End
Direct Contact with the Memes
god, wht the fuk even is twitter
they tried to leave but woke up again on tumblr like it’s the Groundhog’s Day movie
More reasons:
tumblr allows us to post in any format medium we choose (image, long text post, sound, or video)
shitposting just isn’t the fking same anywhere else
like some sort of ancient slumbering giant this is where we have laid for many a century and Will Not Get Up Again (aka can’t be bothered)
This is the only godforsaken place I can have an open online presence where my fucking family haven’t managed to find me so you can pry it from my cold, dead, nippleless hands
my tumblr dashboard is like a glass-bottom boat. I’ve curated it to the point that most of the time it’s smooth sailing, I see cool fish sometimes. And then sometimes, hundreds of meters down, I catch a tip of the fin of something really fucking weird, and then it’s gone again. Can’t get such a uniquely haunting experience like that anywhere else.
its the one site that cant effectively use out personal data for targeted advertisement.
Zuko was having a crisis for three weeks after joining the Gaang, because he realizes a) Katara, Aang and Sokka could have and would have easily murdered him had they been about 5% more emotionally unstable and b) he had stopped actively trying to capture the Avatar right before the person who had no such qualms about murder, Toph, joined their team.
I’m sorry but Bruce Wayne and Harleen quinzel being in the same med school and they’re friends but no one (not even themselves) are sure how they get along
Batman being forced to solve a case with Harley Quinn : You’re my punishment for dropping out of med school
Harley Quinn making the connection between this edgy goth man bat and the edgy goth med student who she suffered all nighters with:
It’s even funnier the thought of them becoming unlikely friends again and teaming up for missions.
Super man: why is a convicted criminal just sitting in your living room?
Harley, sipping her tea: I was actually invited you jealous whore
bruce: …it’s movie night. or at least it was going to be until your uncle zod decided to bring down the wrath of krypton, clark. get him a new hobby that doesn’t involve leveling cities
Harley: hey Brucie!
The rest of justice league that are only allowed to refer to him as Batman:
Bruce after BoP: None of you have ever named a hyena after me, so sit the fuck down.
girls will say they “know a spot” then take you to the sacrificial altar
girls will tell you “there’s this really great place, it’s a bit of a walk but it’s worth it” then lead you to the middle of the forest and leave you there
did something happen
can i get back to you on that one? i’m kind of being hunted for sport rn
High five if you could easily and proudly show super kinky hardcore porn art, but the simple thought of people in your life finding your fandomy-cute-shippy doodles and AUs makes you sweat heavily and want to die alone somewhere deep in the earth.
