Sleeping Beauty AU where the princess was born on a Leap Day, so when the evil fairy curses her to prick her finger “on her 16th birthday”, her family realizes that’s not the same thing as her 16th year of life and she’ll actually be in her 60′s when it happens.
By the time the Royal Counsellor has finished speaking the King looks slightly less like he might faint and the Queen actually looks a little hopeful.
“Are you certain?” she pressed.
“Absolutely,” the Counsellor assured her. “I had one of my clerks take notes during all the fairy’s speeches for the exact purpose of studying their phrasing.”
“What,” the King blinked. “Even the good ones?”
The counsellor sniffed. “Especially the good ones.”
“So…so we can truly argue that it is the birthday that counts and not the passing of the years?” asked the Queen, colour returning to her cheeks.
“Indeed!” the Counsellor said with a smile. “So if my math is correct your daughter will be sixty-four when the curse enters into effect.”
“That is hardly what I would call a long and prosperous life!” the King protested.
“Ah, but it does give her Royal Highness the Princess a lot more time to find this contractually necessary one true love,” his Counsellor explained. “Quite a reasonable amount of time I would say, if she happens to be of a romantic and monogamous persuasion, of course.”
The royal couple looked equal parts relieved and bewildered.
“But there’s no need to worry about that just yet,” the Counsellor said comfortingly. “And besides. Times are moving on. That is the entire reason we have the High Court of Magical Justice. Why, just last month a transformed prince was kissed back to human by his platonic life partner after successful litigation against the original layer of the curse! It is riveting caselaw.”
“…this is a good thing, yes?” the King ventured.
“Very good,” the Counsellor nodded.
“Well then!” Her Majesty the Queen beamed. “In that case, I say we continue the celebrations!”
“Quite right, Your Majesty, quite right,” the Counsellor said with a bow. “If you need me, I shall be in my study.”
It is a tenet of contract law that the meanings of contractual language are construed against its drafters. I think it makes perfect sense to interpret the language of curses against their casters as well.
Better curse breaking through semantic specificity.
I think a common mistake people make about puns is that they often believe puns are meant to make people laugh. This is not so! The emotion that puns are meant to elicit isn’t joy, it’s rage.
“My next D&D character will be serious, dark, & intense” I repeat to myself as I create a lizardfolk bard named Oxford who specializes in dual-wielding sickles, adaptive camouflage, & putting evildoers to sleep.
A kama-kama, karma coma, comma chameleon, if you will. 😘
honestly the reality that there are full grown goyische adults who participate in the south park fandom really wigs me the fuck out
i feel like i really can’t explain to gentiles the extent to which south park specifically introduced my peers to antisemitism as children, which they then directed at me, a fellow child
like, in a very specific and particular way, south park did a lot of damage to me as a jewish child
“but we make trans headcanons about the characters!”
make trans headcanons about something else
south park was directly responsible for me discovering, as a child, that gentiles i liked and trusted would target me for being jewish
and south park was directly responsible for me feeling like i had to laugh and accept it when they did
this was an extraordinarily negative thing for me as a person
i love this post bc it really upsets specifically the most annoying gentiles alive
i love this post bc the notes are almost entirely either “jewish people sharing how south park led to them experiencing antisemitism” and “goyim getting really upset about that”
