DM after failed stealth roll: Hmm… You try to sneak around but you’re dummy thicc and the clap from your ass cheeks alerts the guards. Roll for initiative.
(via bloodsbane)
My Arch Nemesis: Do you know why I challenged you to this duel?
Me: You want me to stop making puns.
My Arch Nemesis: You’re right.
My Arch Nemesis: I didn’t want to do this. I once considered you a friend. It didn’t have to come to this. But the puns have to stop.
Me: It really is the duelity of man.
My Arch Nemesis: *shoots me instantly*
Me: *holds my bullet-ridden intestines in place* It all lead to this.
My Arch Nemesis: Why *shot* Won’t *shot* You *shot* Die?! *shot*
Me:
Arch enemy: *runs out of bullets and starts running me through with a sword*
Me with most of my blood on the ground: Dont worry, im sure i’ll be in a stable condition soon
(via ryukodragon)
Anonymous asked: Has anyone inquired about a rat clown?
You have selected: Squeaky!
This pet clown loves math and science and devotes himself to shareing his passion! Squeaky will appear to those struggling in their studies as patient and caring tutor. Like all pet clowns Squeaky will not speak, so you’ll need to be prepared with something to write with as soon as he appears to you. He’s also handy for using pieces of chalk or pencils that are too tiny to use comfortably.
silver-tongues-blog asked: is it okay if i kin rose egbert?
you are legally required to
*happy possum noises*
[video]
zodiac signs as gaming setups / computers
Aries:
Taurus:
Gemini:
Cancer:
Leo:
Virgo:
Libra:
Scorpio:
Sagittarius:
Capricorn:
Aquarius:
Pisces:
(via moonpaw)
[video]
some oddly specific advice from Hesiod (c700 BC)
which thicc girl hurt you (and stole your grain)
Grain-stealing thots
I’m trying to steal your granary but I’m dummy thicc and the clap of my decorated ass cheeks keeps alerting Hesiod
(via newbarrk)
Pages 31
New pages every other day
EDIT: redrawn for clarity! sorry for the rushed version from before
Woof…
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