okay so for those who wanna laugh at spn but dont feel like watching it;
episode starts out with dean going to a pie festival. sam mentions how he wishes cas and jack were there and dean is like “true. oh well”
meanwhile some vampire mimes (for real) kill a man and abduct his kids. basic motw stuff ensues.
theres a cameo of a girl from season 1? she talks for two seconds, they show a flashback, and then kill her immediately
sam and dean free the kids and fight the vampires and one of them pushes dean. then sam goes to leave but dean is like “somethings got me” and come to find out he was pushed onto a hook that stabbed him in the abdomen from behind. he refuses help and says some bullshit for 10 minutes and then bleeds to death. a fucking HOOK killed him. on a show about monsters. a hook.
so sam continues being depressed. he is alone. continues doing hunts.
meanwhile dean wakes up in heaven! its so cool! wow! everyone is there! (you dont get to see them though). he sees his car (in heaven) and decides to take a drive (in heaven.)
as dean drives (in heaven) you see a montage of sam. he is walking with a toddler with “dean” embroidered on his overalls. then he is playing baseball with an older boy. in the background, a blurry blonde woman watches them. i guess thats sam’s generic wife and mother of his child that we never get to know the name of or see without a background blur
the montage progresses. sam gets old. he’s in a hospital bed in his house. his now adult son tells him “dad its okay. you can go.” so sam passes away due to old man disease.
meanwhile dean finishes his drive and gets out of the car. sam appears behind him. dean says “hey sammy” and they hug and the camera pans away while carry on my wayward son plays.
thats it. thats the ending.
this is like a parody of how i would write an ending to this show that ive literally never seen, based on solely knowledge that ive gleaned through online.
Why did I think sam had been dead for several seasons already
i thought sam has probably been dead too but thats because i never heard a goddamn thing about him being important in any way over the last few years from what few people i know in the fandom talk about
The best part of this is that the explanation is even sillier:
these aren’t even a “race” of khajit, they’re just regular khajit. Whether khajit end up like housecats or humans or a fucking lion is solely determined by what phase of the moons they’re born under.
So, you could be practically human, your sister could be a frickin smilodon, and your parents could just be housecats?
Wild
Hands down the best worldbuilding ever made; all other worldbuilding is cancelled forever
This is the only thing we need
Could you imagine telling your sister, who just wants you to open the tuna, neener neener neener who doesn’t have any thumbs?
Or “DAD. NEEDLE TOES, COME ON!”
You know this happens daily in so many Khajit households
LMAO I JUST LOOKED IN THE SUPERNATURAL TAG ON TWITTER
SHJKGLHKKGNJCMBJ
Imagine surviving getting punched in the face by God only to die two weeks later because you got stabbed by a fucking vampire mime wearing a mask from Walmart.
Please do not contact me about the Supernatural ending I know everything and there’s not a single post I could make that will come near touching the sheer parody of itself that was its finale. Nothing I say will be funnier than what they did to themselves. Maybe now humankind can finally start to heal.
Never mind my friend Sera just told me on the phone that she thinks the Impala ascending physically to heaven is what creates the Catholic canon in the Pixar’s Cars universe
Okay but if I’m gonna reblog this I need to tell you guys the story of this legendary pachirisu
So in the competitive Pokemon scene, there’s what’s called a ‘metagame’, which is what’s generally used and what is/isn’t allowed in competitive battling. Certain pokemon are banned from the ‘meta’ because of being too powerful. Others aren’t generally used because there are better alternatives, or they’re simply too weak. People base their entire strategies around the expectation that they’ll be facing certain pokemon, and attempt to counter them with certain pokemon.
But the problem with this meta is, during the 2014 World Championships, there were a small number of pokemon choices that everybody had. Gardevoir, Kangeskhan, Salamence, Tyranitar, Talonflame, Garchomp… the same pokemon coming up again and again. Things weren’t really all that interesting.
And then came the Double Battle World Championship. And this guy.
Park Se Jun. One of the best players in the world. He used a Pachirisu with Nuzzle (a move with 100% paralysis chance), Super Fang (cuts target’s HP in half) and Follow Me (a move that redirects attacks AWAY from allied pokemon), and equipped with a recently-buffed Sitrus Berry. And he turned the metagame on its head, because nobody in the championships had prepared for anything outside their incredibly restrictive expectations.
Their strategies and planning were completely tripped up by an electric squirrel. Battling his Pachirisu in incredibly tight synergy with the rest of his team, Park Se Jun swept the finals and became World Champion of 2014 Doubles.
And that is the story of the #BASED GOD PACHIRISU.
To give more details on Pachirisu and this Pachirisu in particular:
Pachirisu’s stats aren’t great. They aren’t terrible, but they aren’t great. Of the four Pokemon involved in this particular exchange, Salamence and Garchomp have a base stat total of 600, Mega Tyranitar has 700, and Pachirisu has 405. Yeah.
To make things worse, Pachirisu is a gimmick Pokemon of a class known as a “Pikachu clone”. Its entire purpose is to be a generic Electric-type with middling stats and chubby cheeks. It was never built for high-level play, and a lot of people will even say that it’s not worth it for casual because there are so many better Electric-types.
Pachirisu does have a couple of things going for it, though. Firstly, its Special Defence and Speed stats aren’t totally garbage, and its Defence isn’t bad either. This means that it can take a hit if you train it right (which Se Jun did).
Secondly, the moveset that this particular Pachirisu had was a brilliant one for what Se Jun wanted it to do. Nuzzle deals a tiny amount of damage but is guaranteed to paralyse anything that isn’t an Electric- or Ground-type. Paralysis halves speed and gives you a 50/50 chance of not being able to do anything that turn.
That’s HUGE. This is a game in which most major attackers are fast as hell, and outspeeding is vital to pretty much all strategies.
Super Fang, as mentioned, is guaranteed to do 50% damage to anything that’s not a Ghost-type. Pachirisu cannot explicitly KO with this, but what it can do is break down its opponents’ defences. You can’t use inventory items in competitive play, so it’s unlikely that this damage will be healed, and 50% damage can make the difference between Pachirisu’s partner taking two moves to defeat its opponent vs taking one move.
Follow Me redirects opponents’ moves onto Pachirisu if they would have otherwise hit Pachirisu’s partner. This lead to the instance above, in which Pachirisu survived a hit from a Draco Meteor (a 130 power attack in a game where 90 power is considered excellent and 100 power or above generally requires major drawbacks). You might think “but if it couldn’t take out Pachirisu, then it couldn’t take out the Salamence it was meant for, right?” NOPE: Salamence is weak to Dragon-type attacks like Draco Meteor and so would have taken double damage. That’s probably a KO.
But the real purpose of Follow Me was for Pachirisu’s intended partner: Gyarados. Depending on the situation, Gyarados takes either double or quadruple damage from Electric-type attacks, which is a shame because Gyarados is otherwise terrifying. Pachirisu has the passive ability Volt Absorb, which means that it’s healed by Electric-type attacks rather than taking damage from them. So if you try to use an Electric-type attack on that Gyarados there’s a very good chance that you will end up healing Pachirisu instead. Not what you want, especially when this particular Pachirisu is so unbelievably bulky.
Oh, and its last move is Protect, which totally nullifies damage on Pachirisu for that turn. Useful if Pachirisu can’t do anything useful this turn but you don’t want to swap it out.
And that Sitrus Berry? Yeah, that thing recovers 25% of Pachirisu’s total HP the moment it goes below 30% total. So if you just barely fail to kill Pachirisu, it’s going to heal itself. Have fun.
The last thing Pachirisu has going for it, at least in this case, is intimidation. The universal response to this team was “Who the fuck brings a fucking Pachirisu to the World Championship?!” But then you realise that Se Jun is totally serious about this ridiculous plan. And then you realise that it’s working. And then you realise: oh shit, this guy is really good. He knows what he’s doing with this.
TL;DR: By all accounts Pachirisu should have been an utterly stupid thing to bring to this level of play, but in practise it was a very clever set-up that took advantage of its decent defensive stats and useful support/survival movepool.
I think the biggest reason in the pokemon world why ten year olds are able to become champions and dismantle criminal empires is simply because kids are both reckless and really sweet. Like most adults or older teens becoming trainers would be like “oh fuck oh shit, that’s a deino I can’t handle a dragon type yet i need to run” while a ten year old would look at this dude,
and think
“!!!! WEIRD DOG!! I LOVE YOU!”
and would run over to hug the incredibly dangerous dragon, that bites everything it can find, only to be left completely unharmed because this is the first time this dragon felt loved.
And they would be able to instantly tame them, because kids can be REALLY protective of animals, so they would just braid up the deinos hair so they can see, and bring them to a pokecenter to heal them.
And because this deino can see now, it’s fur isn’t going to be stained with it’s own blood (thats the red spots on it’s mane) And would adore this kid for everything they’ve done.
And heres another thing, with adults and teenagers becoming trainers, especially ones in criminal empires, they would likely want only really strong pokemon, and wouldn’t have the patience to raise a pokemon thats not going to be strong for a long time. They would just buy a machamp or something.
But kids wouldn’t care about that, they’d just pick pokemon they thought were cool and become friends with them. So because this kid, who doesn’t know about dangerous pokemon, or cares about their weird dog being able to take down a gyarados, they would likely be some of the only trainers with enough patience and care to raise an unbreakable bond with their pokemon, until their “weird dog” evolves into a fucking flying hydra known for being capable of mass destruction and decimating villages without problem.
and not only that, but at this point they would have bonded so strongly with their “weird dog” that this near godlike being capable of mass destruction is completely under this 10 year olds command because of how caring they were.
Imagine having a dragon as your friend who’s just like “YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE THIS KID? MY TRAINERS THE FUCKING BEST. I CAN’T TELL YOU HOW MUCH PAIN I WAS IN FROM THE DENSE FUR COVERING MY EYES, FORCING ME TO BITE EVERYTHING NEARBY INSTEAD OF SIGHT, AND WHEN WE FIRST MET? THEY GAVE ME A HUG, BRAIDED MY HAIR, MADE ME CURRY, AND TREATED MY WOUNDS. IF ANYTHING HAPPENED TO THEM, I WOULD DESTROY THIS ENTIRE REGION TO BRING THEM BACK.”
so thats probably why children are constantly defeating top tier criminal organizations who are after godlike beings that they almost always end up forcing under their control, failing, and having to deal with an angry god fighting them, only for the same 10 year old to be like “OH MY GOD!! GIANT WEIRD DOG!”
