Gandalf, taking a hit from his joint: Did you guys know that mithril is super expensive? Like insanely valuable? That it’s very much a finite resource mostly plundered from the earth and invaluable due to its many uses? And also Sauron has most of it so it’s now lost to its Elven and Dwarvish makers? And to think Bilbo’s precious gift of mithril mail is probably sitting in the local Useless Dumb Artefacts Museum. Just makes you think lol …
Gimli, a dwarf who has lost most of his people’s cultural artefacts: … I’m sorry Bilbo was given what and did what with it
Frodo, secretly wearing Bilbo’s mithril mail at that very moment but only after nearly 70 years of it sitting in the Useless Dumb Artefacts Museum gathering dust because Bilbo had no idea his cool shirt was worth approximately the net value of their entire country:
Absolutely living for the fact that in ancient Greece, it was said that when Apollo was drunk he created people with the “wrong” genitalia,, which, first of all, means that 1. trans people are not a new thing, we’ve always been here and we’ve always found ways to justify and explain our existence, and 2. the way that we chose to explain ourselves at one point was, “Yeah, the sun was wasted as hell when he made me, but it’s cool.” and that is fucking awesome
ancient greeks: actually sometimes god os just really fucking wasted
apollo making me: fuck it lets give her a massive dick Dionysus: im cutting you off for the night. youve had way too much.
I’ll see your “the villain repeatedly kidnapping the princess is actually just extreme sex rolepaying” and raise you “it is, in fact, an RP thing, but there’s nothing sexual about it – the princess is just really into escape rooms, and the ‘villain’ is the only escape room artisan around who’s unethical enough to be willing to build challenges that meet her frankly deranged standards”.
