Silver Tongue

Feb 13

[video]

higharollakockamamie:

dragon-in-a-fez:

dragon-in-a-fez:

I just discovered there’s a clause in my contract that literally says I’m not allowed to work

like from the context of the section above it it’s clearly supposed to say I’m not allowed to use my time on the clock to do anything connected with another job but what it actually says is just:

you may not under any circumstances undertake any duties of any kind during your hours of work

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(via deep-sea-prince)

thighetician:

hotephoetips:

geekandmisandry:

If various companies think that pulling their content from Netflix so they can host their own streaming service will make them sign up to theirs then they are wrong. It will just make me pirate their content again.

The whole point of paying for a streaming was getting all the stuff you like on one place. If I have to pay for multiple streaming services I might as well buy cable.

It’s like they don’t realize that I only stopped stealing as a courtesy to the creators. Make it remotely inconvenient and I’ll go right back to piracy

(via deep-sea-prince)

[video]

dies-first:

supermegahijabi:

Choose your fighter

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(via dies-first)

missabnormal:

osunism:

tenaflyviper:

rinlockhart:

kingdomheartsddd:

painisthecleanser:

sasukehateblog:

softurl:

adataraxia:

tinydickhaver:

elphabaoftheopera:

unicornfan:

akiraita:

undrjoyed:

analienorsutin:

gunpowderandspark:

turtle-powered:

gunpowderandspark:

thisisdefinitelyacreativename:

gunpowderandspark:

gayantivan:

gunpowderandspark:

We need to have a nomination for “Stupidest thing Tumblr.com has ever believed” and just move into an official Top 10 List.

For my nominations, I’m putting up:

  • If you eat a chocolate bar a very specific way, you will break physics and get infinite chocolate.

or

  • It is impossible that you spelled “Berenstain Bears” wrong and is, instead, more likely that the universe fractured into separate, overlapping realities in the last 20 years.

I can’t decide which is more beautiful. It’s why we need a vote.

this is a picture of the human brain at the moment of death. tragic and beautiful

Fuck. That is a damn good nomination.

if you close your eyes when the train hits your brain will assume you are dead. Some find this comforting.

We’re getting into the good ones now. This is some classic Tumblr.

Two old favourites:

“Bitch, That’s the Tubby Custard Machine” (http://imgur.com/gallery/IObQF)

and the horse dildo that was passed off as someone’s arm. (http://abakkus.tumblr.com/post/48958415162)

This is rapidly becoming a master post of ignorances and I could not possibly be happier.

Rare blue watermelon

That disease where you get purple eyes, no period, and no body hair

How have we gone this far without anyone mentioning the bird in the chocolate fountain

soap makes water molecules smaller

I nominate the “we are killing the earth” picture of the earth in comparison from 1978 to 2012

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the dog with the slice of ham on its face that everyone thought was a gigantic burn scar

“Tequila is the only alcohol thats not a depressant so you can drink as much of it as you like”

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that post with the picture of the joker without makeup and people thinking it was a real person and defending him

that photo of voldemort being passed off as an aborted fetus

The two way mirror

“listen here, cumslut.”

I can’t believe you guys forgot someone trying to pass off a picture of the inside of a fig as a microscopic view of the inside of a vagina.

I can’t believe I was on Tumblr for every single one of these posts.

“I hate when people say ‘I’m Spanish’ like no that’s a language not a nationality”

can i nominate “they put actual makeup on the snow white cels to make her blush”

(via thetimeisneveright)

[video]

banishedquasiroyal:

hollow knight , me

hollowknight is good. hornet keeps kicking my ass

A tradition

wakor-rising:

sonatagreen:

In peacetime, the ruler grows their hair long. In war, they cut it short.

A ruler with long hair is held in great esteem, for defending the peace.

The traditional declaration of war is for the ruler to send their cut-off hair to the enemy ruler. The statement carries greater weight the longer the hair: to receive long hair says that you have angered one who is slow to anger, that you have incurred a wrath not easily woken.

Violent war-mongering leader frantically and aggressively tries to shave just a LITTLE hair off the top of their head into an envelope.

A faraway king receives a heavy wooden crate filled with a coil of the longest hair he has ever seen.

A despised ruler finds hundreds of pounds of cut-off ponytails at her castle entrance, each one belonging to her own people. 

A young emperor refuses to cut their hair and insists on trying to make peace with invaders. The enemy leader steps forward, draws their blade, and cuts the emperor’s hair themselves.

Hellen cuts her hair off and throws it in Cathy’s face at her son’s soccer scrimmage. 

(via newbarrk)

silver-tongues-blog asked: i feel like the only thing the undertale fandom doesnt get right is that they still treat flowey like a child. like, i get that its funny to see a main antagonis say "whats fuck mean?" or other things but like, he lived several years worth of resets. probably even centuries worth since he found every possible outcome. he's probably learned a lot during those times. like, bill murrey learned ice sculpting and piano in groundhog day.

banishedquasiroyal:

flowey is weird bc he’s asriel, post trauma. ie (asriel) if you will—he’s reset, he’s become his undoing, and he’s so, so alone.

i think it’s more safe to think of him as a ghost—he’s stagnant. his development can’t move forward. he knows this and is angry and can’t fix it or see his parents or his sibling or anything—he just exists and that’s what terrifying to him! he’s no longer part of the narrative, and he won’t last. and it’s scary and it hurts.

he’s just a little dude trying to get by and sometimes that involves like, losing your shit completely lmfao

true. it just irks me how people infintalizes and woobyfies him.