top tier: “Elementary” is better than “Sherlock” because not only does it not have the racism, sexism and queer-baiting from the BBC adaption, it actually shows how smart Sherlock Holmes is instead of just telling you that the detective can do the impossible. The overall portrayal of Sherlock is much more true and actually shows him as a person instead of some hero who does things off screen we just have to believe. Even though “Elementary” might be lower budget and may feel inferior to “Sherlock”, it’s overall the better show and definitely more enjoyable to watch
god tier: “Elementary” is better than “Sherlock” because Jonny Lee Miller is hotter than Bumblebee Custardbath
actual truth tier: elementary is better than sherlock because lucy liu is in it
god im just thinking about how much going to public school in the MCU would’ve made me hate captain america. every time i got caught giving some bitch the finger or writing on bathroom walls or ditching class or stealing books from the library cause i got a fine or what have you, and then they gave me lunch detention or ISS and i sat in that dumbass eraser-smelling room and im in My Chair (the chair i always sit in and yell at anyone else who tries to take it), fuming, arms crossed, full of teen angst and hating everyone around me, and AGAIN had to watch this stupid fucking video ive already seen so many times that i know it by heart and every word grates on my eardrums and i’d just see this fuckin familiar face
and i would be ready to LOSE MY SHIT
Villain Origin Story
god imagine Steve giving Peter his Captain America is Disappointed in You face/lecture over something dumb and Peter just fucking dissociating and zoning back in to “Peter! Are you even listening to me???” and looking him in the eye and being like “I’m completely immune at this point. You can’t even touch me.” and walking the fuck away
canon.
the real reason why Peter agreed to fight cap at the airport
I also firmly believe that not a single teen in the MCU would take Captain America seriously. I’m positive he’d be a total meme, and anytime some sort of disaster is happening, all the kids would just laugh, like “good luck.”
The News: Captain America may be our only hope.
High school kids, snorting: What’s he going to do, tell the villain he’s disappointed in them and to make better choices?
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Gen-X Supervillian confronting cap after years of PSAs: Oh no, it’s the star-spangled saint coming to tell me to make better choices. Whatcha gonna do, Cap, help an old lady cross the street at me?
Captain America, AKA Steve Rogers the pissed-off-Brooklynite who spent his youth getting into alley fights: The fuck are you talking about? Eat fist, dipshit.
Cap leans into it after four villains in a row get thrown for a loop by him insulting their mothers and swearing a blue streak during battles so he plays up the oh-shucks thing during interviews. That works great until the news catches him on camera saying “It was propaganda, you nazi fuckwit” while decking a superpowered alt-right millennial who came to attack a BLM march.
“It Was Propaganda, You Nazi Fuckwit” becomes the next meme. There are photo edits, there are tee shirts.
Never in my twenty four years of life could I ever imagine reading these words in a headline
I mean remember when someone tried to fucking murder a whole hotel full of them like real talk the shitty parts of the community are the loudest meanwhile most furries are just out here havin a chill ass time not hurting anyone and collecting money for charity n shit and i imagine it can be pretty alienating for people to assume this fun thing youre into makes you a Sexual Deviant ™ (which is fucked up because a ton of kids are into this and also opens up a whole conversation on sex shaming but we can get to that another time) so yeah props to cnn.
the furry community is pretty chill in genral and really great when it comes to commissions. theyve saved my ass on more than one occasion when i had to open emergency coms to pay rent
APPARENTLY MY MOMS BOYFRIEND HAD JURY DUTY WITH JOHN MULANEY AND WAS SITTING NEXT TO HIM
imagine going to the jury and seeing him like i wouldn’t be able to keep it together emotionally i’d just be disqualified the plaintiff would be like “he stole my assets” and i’d be like I Have Fired The Criminal Catcher
John Mulaney Gives You The Death Sentence (ASMR)
Imagine being on trial and you look over at the jury and John Mulaney is just sitting there. How do you handle that, psychologically. How do you not conclude your life has turned into a piece of absurdist theatre
you do something that would make a funny story for him to tell on stage
Yet another installment in humans being fuckin weird compared to aliens: humans give blood, organs, and tissue to each other, because our race is built around being able to function under as much stress as possible.
So of course, what do we do when another human will die without something we could live without?
We go to our local hospital and undergo trauma to provide them with it, for no compensation.
Sure you might need to eat and drink more, take antibiotics or anti rejection drugs, but hey!
B'ril over there had to wait until HIS race figured out stem cells and lab grown organs, because ALL their organs are vital, and losing a pint of fluid flat out kills them or sends them into shock.
“You… you lost… your toxin filters?”
“Well, we’ve got a few things that do that, but yeah, like… four of them?”
“….Four?”
“Well, counting tonsils.”
“You are… How are you alive, again?”
“You make it sound so weird. I still have two kidneys- One’s synthetic, the other was donated.”
“…….donated?”
“Yeah, my girlfriend was compatible.”
“Donated.”
“….Yeah? Like, we had the same blood type and everything, and she volunteered. What, you guys don’t do that? What do you do when someone needs a liver, or something?”
“We… clone one.”
“Okay, sure, but what did you do before cloning? You didn’t just like, give someone a piece?”
“….. we died? Wait, what do you mean, ‘give someone a piece’?”
“Well, our livers can grow back. You can give someone a piece of yours, and they can grow their own. You guys don’t do that?”
I absolutely adore these ‘humans are the hardiest aliens’ stories.
human: “you think thats wild, some people willingly consumer a poison that our livers have to filter through process that dulls the senses. hell some people even drink so much that their body just goes on autopilot while their brain sleeps. we call that ‘blackout drinking.’ here’s the chemical makeup of the drink”
alien: “thats what we fuel our ships with what the actual fuck”
