Our Aloe Vera plant got pruned, so guess what that means!!!!!
IT’S ALOE VERA JUICE TIME
Step one: get the spikes off.
This is a pile of ooh, ahh:
And this is a pile of caution:
Uhhhhhhhhhh ok so never mind, I am not making aleo vera juice after all.
Because, uh. This is the first time I’ve made it??? So I was like “oh I’ll just Google it and see if I have to cut the dark green bit off or if I can just chuck the whole thing through the machine,” and. Thank goodness I checked. Cause a) yeah you do have to cut the dark green bit off, cause it’s HECKING TOXIC, but uh. More importantly??
Turns out there’s two primary sub species of aloe. One is greenish-grey and has no spots and is good for digestive health.
And the other has pale spots on it and is fantastic for treating sunburn and is, uh. Very toxic and shouldn’t be eaten.
That…. uh. That was a close call.
Here’s the two types, for anyone interested. The kind I have is the one on the left. Aka, the non-edible one.
Me, had I drunk my homemade toxic cactus-juice:
Delectable tea, or deadly poison…
@chemicalmagecraft I need you to know that I nearly broke a rib laughing at your addition. Also, your input deserved a fully fledged meme
next transformers continuity i want the autobots to accidentally out themselves to earth when they realize the probe they just shook the dust off of has cameras and one day NASA wakes up to find that opportunity rover’s back online and the first thing it recorded was a giant robot saying “well, fuck”
I want this to be Ironhide. But alternatively
Optimus
Gentle Dad Bot just wanted to wipe off that poor abandoned rover. The first thing humanity sees of Optimus is this bigass robot lightly patting Opportunity and saying “There you go, all clean. Oh, it started working? Ratchet look, he’s alive! :D”
this is so cute ówò
Optimus becomes a meme long before he ever reaches earth.
The leaked video becomes widely known as Metal Jesus welcomes Oppy to robot heaven or something similar.
If there is a Decepticon attack and Oppy is damaged, Megatron will be globally known as Metal Satan, and the millennials and gen Z’s will be mobilized against him before he ever sets foot on the planet.
ALTERNATELY
The Autobots bring Oppy onto their ship to help take care of him. He’s a curious little guy! Always rolling around and picking up random objects to examine.
He quickly captures everyone’s sparks.
Meanwhile the techs back at NASA are freaking out because they get to virtually explore an alien spaceship and EVERYTHING IS AMAZING!
Oojka wamma po Jen'kiwi. Biig Woopa slemmy dengo peet
His most mighty Exaltedness would like to request that you fetch him a mint condition DVD of the beloved Earth film; Cats & Dogs: The Revenge of Kitty Galore, failure to do so will result in a fate… worse than death.
Nominating this as the best post I made this decade
