a lighter company trying to start a marketing campaign like how have YOU used your zippo lighter? #zippo and it backfires when everyone uses the hashtag to confess to unsolved arson cases and it turns out all of them are true and then lighters get cancelled and everyone gets back into using like a stick and a piece of flint to make fire because it’s more eco friendly because it’s harder to do arson with. i’m sincerely the highest i’ve ever been and this took a monumental effort to type. i love the art of short stories
bold of yo u to assume we wont first go to magnifying glasses during the day to commit arson
i was sitting with a bunch of cis people at lunch who think i’m cis and they literally had an entire conversation on how “nowadays you can’t tell who’s transgender” while i there wearing a trans pride flag t-shirt
My 26 yr old sister still says things out loud like ‘ermagerd’ and ’___ ALL the things!’ Like…is that what’s gonna happen to me?am I going to be 30 still saying stupid shit like O shit waddup! Are all the youngins gonna be embarrassed by my use of outdated memes….how long until I myself am not Hip With It….how long until I am no longer a trendy memer…
my greatest fear honestly
Listen, I am 40. I was around for the early internet of webrings and hamsterdance. Homestarrunner. Those little cats in the boat singing to Immigrant Song. Longcat. Ceiling cat. Radiskull. Powerthirst.
So to me anything that is funny on the internet is, and always will be, cutting-edge and hilarious. If it’s funny the first time, it’s funny the eleven thousandth time. No exceptions.
I accumulate memes. Social media sites form actual strata in my soul, revealing my geological age in layers: Geocities, Myspace, Livejournal, Tumblr. Memes encrust me, like jewels, just layer on layer of reaction gifs and shitposts, some of which I barely understand, but I refuse to let go of. I cling to them, they are ever-relevant, undying.
You callow youths, who think in your innocence that that memes come and go, you are tepid fools who still smell of milk.
I am where memes go to die. I am where memes go to live eternal.
Someday, if you are lucky, you will join me. Bring your breadsticks meme, your Spiders Georg, your Bode, your big mood, your Supernatural gifs, your oh worm. Come with me and rejoice in pointless in-jokes and long-forgotten references. Embrace your encyclopedic knowledge of comedy sites ca 2006 and come share the knowledge with us. Come with me and lik the bred.
You gotta.
“You callow youths, who think in your innocence that that memes come and go, you are tepid fools who still smell of milk.”
Put this on my headstone, underneath a picture of Ceiling Cat.
all your base are belong to us
It’s almost like nobody expects nearly 50 year old memes
his housing loans have no interest and no deadlines and the majority of the money he receives from being paid back is used to fund public works. this is the hill i am willing to die on
