Silver Tongue

Dec 03

Review of the book Zeus Grants Stupid Wishes by Cody O’Brien.

my-abibliophobia:
To sum up this book in a single sentence - “What would happen is Deadpool wrote a mythology book.”
Yeah, this guy-
Originally posted by imagines-everywhere
Wrote a book. Here are some examples of why I think this.
GREEK MYTHOLOGY
The Greek creation myth.
The story of Hephaestus god of Blacksmithing and Aphrodite Goddess of Love.
The story of the Minotaur.
NORSE MYTHOLOGY
Norse creation myth.
Odin orders Loki to steal Freyja’s necklace. He does. This is so in character for both of them Freyja instantly knows who to blame.
EGYPTIAN MYTHOLOGY
Ra gets mad at humanity and creates Sekhmet Lion Goddess of Killing Stuff.
How Isis retrieves her huband’s coffin from the support pillar it got stuck inside.
MAYAN MYTHOLOGY
How to try and kill the god Zipacna and fail.
CHRISTIANITY MYTHOLOGY
How God made Eve from Adam’s rib.
The story of how King Solomon judges proper maternal instinct.
HINDU MYTHOLOGY
Men ask Shiva to stop Kali’s murder rampage.
And this is how he does it.
JAPANESE MYTHOLOGY
The Goddess Izanami gives birth to the whole island of Japan.
A story about Tanuki.
AFRICAN MYTHOLOGY
Creation myth
SUMERIAN MYTHOLOGY
Creation myth
The Epic of Gilgamesh: Being born
The Epic of Gilgamesh: Meeting his best friend.
NATIVE AMERICAN MYTHOLOGY

Do I really need to explain why I feel the Merc with a mouth was involved in the retelling here?
Listen I will never stop stanning this fucking book, especially because these stories are SO FUN to read aloud.
source: I used to read them aloud to birdie and also did video recordings of a couple, at least one of which you can find linked on the appropriate myth on his blog. SO FUN.

(via nofacednerd)

cleopatronising:

the day steve irwin died this one kid stood at the school gate yelling the news over and over as everyone went home like… it was so important that he literally took on the role of town crier… and no one believed him…

(via tamascotchi-deactivated20190101)

(Source: hilarioushumorfromouterspace, via filibusterfroggo)

tumblr: let’s take off all the porn! :Dㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ tumblr: loses millions of followersㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ tumblr:

reallybadbwy:

(via newbarrk)

batbitequeen:

electoralcollege:
picdescbot:
a group of people in front of a house
about this bot | picture source
the text in this post is 100% computer-generated, including tags

(via robustquestioner)

deezmo:

sarcoptid:
burning-yaungol:
stalwart-shield:
silent-as-time:
highkingofskyrim:
saggitariusarrow:
dps: THE TANK IS DYING.
me, a veteran healer:
dps: THE TANK IS DYING
me, a veteran tank:
tank: let me die
me, a veteran dps:
healer: the dps are dead and I’m not raising them again
me, a veteran tank:
Originally posted by geniuscqy
Healers and Tanks: Dead
Boss: Still alive
Me, a Veteran DPS:
Healers: Left
Tank: About to die
Me, an Anxious DPS with vanish still on cd:
Tank: Dead

Healers: Dead

Me and one other DPS left fighting the boss that has 3% health left:
Originally posted by welcometoyouredoom

(via ryukodragon)

homomutandis:

dankmemeuniversity:
I love that this post is here to dunk on logan paul and the flat earth society

(via newbarrk)

ask-glittershell:

A humble reminder to everyone, just because you think your blog is sfw doesnt protect you from Tumblr Staff’s stupendously incompetent algorithm.
Please go through your art posts and double check your content hasn’t been falsely flagged. Because I bet it has!

(via deep-sea-prince)

sinsays:

Ew, I guess Tumblr is pulling a kamikaze
Like do they not realize that their NSFW auto-detect system is shit, constantly marking SFW blogs as NSFW??? So it’s not going to just hurt NSFW artists/bloggers but pretty much everyone else as well :T People’s stuff just being randomly deleted all the time.
GG A+ Site of the year
You can find me on Twitter, FA, DA, and Patreon- All of them are with the same username: SinLigereep
I’ll probably be moving to Pillowfort later too :T

(via pinknightmaresoftartarus)

kant:

you got your cock out there bud? not allowed on this website fucko. oh well you wanna be racist huh? well, who am i to –

(via bloodsbane)