One of the reasons I feel so comfortable using Tumblr over other social media is because this site is clearly too incompetent to be evil.
The basic business model of a social network is to harvest commercially valuable personal data and sell it, most famously via targeted ads. Anyone visiting my blog can clearly see that I am a queer furry who’s into video games and art. And yet I am only served ads for funeral homes, Bible story DVDs, and the current president’s reelection campaign (in 2018 for some reason)
Needless to say my click through rate has not been very good
Me: Runs a blog dedicated to dungeons and dragons and anime Tumblr: You know what, you strike me as a sporty type
I’m a social media manager for my day job and Tumblr is literally the only social media platform I can relax on anymore because it’s so incompetent when it comes to exploiting my personal data.
The tumblr personal data algorithm, trying to make sense of the hot mess that is my blog:
That is not funny
That is not cute
It is animal abuse
BIRDS ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO EAT CHOCOLATE
BIRDS ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE COATED IN CHOCOLATE
Why the fuck do you think birds who get coated in oil die? It’s for the same goddamn reason.
You idiots can have all the chuckles you want over the fact that that poor animal is “living the dream” but I hope you also know that it probably died from that.
And if you still find it funny then I genuinely do not want to associate with you and can only wish upon you the most the most painful and awful death imaginable.
I just want to point out that no one is forcing that bird into the chocolate no one pulled the damn thing in Inf act, it fully appears to be waddling into the foundain by its damn self Calm the hell down chocolate is not the same thing as chocolate Its just a bird making a mistake and its fucking funny It’s not animal cruelty unless someone was holding that bird at gunpoint fucking christ
Listen here cum-slut, I bet you 5 million dollars that you don’t own a bird. But guess what? I own 7. And I can tell you right now that a bird would never just walk into something like a chocolate fountain. They’ll rarely walk directly into water. But say that your idiotic theory is correct. Say it did actually walk into it. That animal still probably died. Is that still funny to you? Do you still get your kicks out of knowing that that bird was probably terrified and opening its mouth to scream in that last panel? And if you say yes then you seriously disgust me as a human being.
God bless the people in the notes who think this is an actual criticism of DuckTales (2017).
@adurot it’s called a cartoon. First of all, animals dont talk and go on adventures like the one on the cartoon. Second, it’s pretty fucking obvious that you dont give an animal, or certain kind of animals, chocolate. Third, if you’re gonna act this way, I can provide you instructions on how to delete your tumblr cause honestly, we’re here for a good time and not to listen to your bullshit
Normally I just laugh at the comments, but since you went out of your way to tag me, how about you read the other notes ya numbskull? Or maybe even just the last visible addition in the string you yourself reblogged onto your own blog?
I am personally offended that they didnt even include me in their tagging
