if a fictional character gets stabbed, they have only 2 valid response options:
1. slowly raise their hand to the wound and/or pull the weapon impaling them out while everyone stares in horror before collapsing to the ground from shock and/or blood loss and being caught just in time by their friend/sibling/love interest
2. hide the wound beneath a dark item of clothing in preparation for the dramatic reveal later when another character touches them and their hand comes away bloody or they overexert themselves and they stumble and wince but still try to insist they’re fine, even though they’re clearly in pain and struggling to stay on their feet, and as the other character peels back their jacket it becomes clear that they’re badly hurt and have been for a while (bonus points if they’re wearing a white shirt underneath)
i stand corrected they have *3 valid options
4: hide the wound and make puns about it until they die from blood loss
tesla being like “look at our unbreakable car windows” and hurling a steel ball into them only for the windows to IMMEDIATELY break is one of the funniest things i think i’ve seen in 2019
one time i was smoking with my sister and she wanted to show me that she and her wife had a bong that was designed to be, like, a spillproof bong? to she grabbed the bong off the table and said to me “look at this,” with absolutely no explanation or preamble
and naturally it turned out to be the wrong bong, so from my perspective my sister just says “look at this!” out of nowhere and then stares me in the eye while dumping bong water all over the floor
and like on an emotional level it’s more or less the same experience
are any three little words more romantically devastating than “Not like this”
the bone deep agony of someone wanting something so, so, so badly and finally having it within reach but knowing that they’d never forgive themselves if they got it in This way, if they took it or were given it when it couldn’t last or wasn’t real or the other person is only giving for the wrong reasons, maybe doesn’t actually want Them, just Someone…
and having to say that they want this but…. but not like this.
You get it!!
Saying it desperately, brokenly, practically begging, knowing they have to stop this, have to get those three words out before they give in and accept this, even knowing they’d hate themselves if they did… Or worse, knowing the other person would hate them if they did… Ugghh
So many torturous ways. Is it said just before that first kiss they’ve been longing for for centuries and they have to pull away or make an excuse or just run lest they give in.
Or is it after that moment, it coming as a shock and they want so badly to given in and open up and just take but they couldn’t, they’d never be able to stop and it would kill them, like giving a dying man a sip of water before snatching it away.
How terrible and cruel the world must be to be so close and yet how very wrong it is, like this.
I hate each and every one of you, fucking stop this madness and let me LIVE
You know, probably my favorite part of the movie Hercules, besides all of the horridly inaccurate mythology and fun gospel music, is that Hercules was already super strong and didn’t need to work out. Phil just made him work out for the Hero Aesthetic™
Skinny arms don’t cut it, kid.
Only big arms will get you an action figure.
Never mind that you’ve been lifting houses since you were a toddler.
Phil knew hercules needed to be thicc
See, you understand.
Hang on
What if it was actually Phil protecting Hercules?
Like yes he’s strong without having the muscles and everything but that’s only because he’s a god…
What if Phil gave him actual strength? So if his god strength was taken away (i.e. hades taking it away) he would still be able to fight?
He wouldn’t have a weakness like Achillies.
He really would be perfect
But also consider hades reaction to him taking away his god strength and Hercules is just standing there like yeah okay I’m just gonna fight you and hades is like losing his shit cause that was not how this was supposed to go
Phil also taught him and helped him train his hero skills. Hercules was strong, but his strength was aimless and did more harm than good. Phil taught him how to use his abilities to actually help people and not fuck up as much.
respect Phil
Also, we don’t know that he DIDN’T strengthen Hercules? Like maybe without training he could lift a house but WITH training he could lift the Colosseum.
No doubt, the primary thing Hercules gained was skill & self-control, but he might also have built his strength too.
