This is the first arbitrary barrier in this series I will accept
Kanto: this path is blocked by a giant sleeping snorlax. you cannot wake up the snorlax except with the use of a very specific tool (which you obtained by fighting your way through a tower full of ghosts). and even after snorlax wakes up you have to either defeat it in battle and/or catch it before you can get through
Galar: could I wake these wooloo? physically, yes, probably wouldn’t be much of a challenge. but emotionally? imagine the toll
i think its very sexy how millennials are very anti-ad. like. ads were invented to encourage us to buy stuff. but me and all my friends? if we see an ad for something it fills us with rage. a pure hatred. if you interrupt my twitch stream or my stupid TV show for you stupid product i will hate you product for the end of time. i will spit on it whenever i see it. your ad doesn’t work on me. it doesn’t make me want to buy your shitty thing. it makes me want to piss on your shitty thing. fuck you ad companies.
ad companies: i know what we’ll do. we’ll make short video segments that show our product is a positive way so we live an invisible, subconscious imprint on the viewers mind that our product is Good, so that when they see it when they are out they’re more inclined to buy it
millennials: i dont drink monster, no. i was trying to watch an esports twitch stream and every 10 seconds monster got advertised to me. now everytime i see or think about monster, i am filled with a vile rage. i will never drink monster as long as i lie. i fucking hate monster so much
Don’t be fooled, we’re just as much of a sucker for ads as the older generations. They just need to be delivered in the right way. We’re way pickier.
An ad that interrupts a video? Fuck that noise. A sponsored post that has nothing to do with anything? God, I hate those, please hide them.
Someone we follow talking about squarespace in the middle of a podcast, without actually reading a script, just saying stuff about it? Decent, fair
Denny’s spending years posting stuff to an actually well-constructed shitpost blog on Tumblr?
We eat that shit up.
(Preferably at Denny’s.)
An actually good viral video that is an ad for something? But like, the ad is secondary to the funniness or cleverness or virality of the video? Like. Superbowl ads continue to be popular to this day.
this is a good chance to make this abundantly clear to everyone reading this:
every corporate account on tumblr, twitter, facebook, etc– ANY social media, is not your friend.
they are copying our memes because they want to seem like your friend. because if you see dennys making a funny meme post that you share with your friends and you all laugh, what are you gonna do when you’re hungry tomorrow? that’s right. you’ll go hey, lets go to dennys!
ad companies are smart. you have to be smarter. no business, company, or corporate account is your friend. all they want is your money. they will do anything to obtain your money. they will lie, trick, dance, laugh, party, and meme with you if it means that you look fondly at them and give them your money.
it’s not enough for us to just sneer at old-school ads. stop interacting with tumblr accounts made by brands. don’t reblog their posts. block them. tell your friends to do the same. blacklist their brand name. do the same on twitter. as soon as you see them, turn you back. give them NO attention.
social media is a place for us, individual people, to gather. do not allow these monstrous corporate entities into OUR place. you wouldn’t let a dude dressed as a monster can come into your home and try to sell your their shitty energy piss drink, so why are you letting them do it on your social media?
no ads are good ads. no corporate business is a good one. no brand is your friend. no brand cares about you. they only want your money.
good news!! turns out my lease DOES allow me to build a nether portal in the living room, as long as i build it on top of a carpet (to not scratch the floor) & don’t allow zombie pigmen to stay in the unit overnight
I SAW THE CARDS AGAINST HUMANITY “BULLSHIT” SALE YESTERDAY AND BOUGHT IT THINKING IT WAS AN EXPANSION PACK.
IT’S LITERALLY BULL SHIT. THEY ARE SENDING COW POOP TO MY HOUSE AND I HAVE NO CLUE HOW I’M GOING TO EXPLAIN IT TO MY PARENTS.
Please for the love of god let this work
God I am so fucked.
It’s been 2 weeks since I made this post. Every day for those two weeks I found a way to wait for the mail. I sent friends to intercept the package, I used delay tactics to stop my parents from coming home around the time of the package, I waited for a solid 4 hours one day just waiting on my doorstep for the package to arrive.
Today I graduated from college. And guess what my father hands me as we get home.
He says “You got a triangle in the mail.” and walks off with the most knowing grin of my life. I don’t know if he actually knew, but my gut is telling me he’s held on to this box. He knew. He waited for me to fucking graduate to give me the greatest graduation gift of all time. He won. I was defeated.
And for those of you wondering if it’s actually poop.
Yes. Yes it is.
This post been circulating my dash without the Stunning Conclusion
