This is a NPC is named Nhilus. He is an tabaxi wizard who specializes in evocation. he has no problem with destroying his mooks in the collateral damage but gets annoyed because now he has to get his hands dirty. his favourite spell is delayed blast fireball. and yes, his aesthetic is inspired by a god of destruction.
i always thought of a king sized bed as being a bit bigger than a queen, but now that i have one, i can tell you that a king sized bed is an absurdity. i can sprawl out, and my husband can sprawl out, and the cat can sprawl out, and none of us are touching. i reach out in the night, and find only pillows and plush walruses. i reach further and eventually find his elbow. he rolls over the comforters to try and find me. “i have crossed oceans of bed to be with you,” he says. there is a vast expanse of bed untouched, unmapped, unexplored. the cat is still trying to sleep on my face.
Zelda is very young. Give her another ten or twenty years and she may grow to look a lot more like her father.
Okay, this is hands-down my favourite response, even if it is facetious. I absolutely need to see fanart of a thirtysomething Zelda who’s inherited her father’s inhuman proportions.
We’re thinking all wrong here. This has nothing to do with family bloodline:
In Zelda games, fully grown adult rulers are just bigger than everyone else. You gain a position of authority, and you get big.
The kings of Hyrule? Great big fellas. Ganondorf? Huge. The Zora kings? Gargantuan. The zora queen’s ghost? Far bigger than any living zora in Twilight Princess. Headmaster Gaepora of the Knights’ Academy in Skyloft? Towering. King Bulbin? Absolute unit. Kaneli, the owl leader of the Rito? Biggest bird in the village. The leader of the ancient robots or the Parellae? Literally dragons. Midna, once restored to her throne? Statuesquely tall. Elderly Impa? The largest Sheikah if you include her hat, which is a moral imperative.
So a Zelda who takes the throne WILL be larger than other Hylians, but not because of genealogy, but because it’s part of the job description. The only possible alternative is that I’m confusing cause and effect and Zelda will never gain political power because of her lack of extreme girth.
Here’s a quick comparison of a typical species member:
And here’s a leader of the same species:
Now there’s a fun idea. I wonder if you gradually grow into it, or whether our hypothetical Queen Zelda will just don the crown and instantly “power up” to full imperial stature, like Mario picking up a mushroom?
Nah, Rule 34 artists would screw it up –
either
they’d give her biceps-like-sacks-of-boulders bodybuilder physique, or else they’d just make her really fat. Neither of those particularly reflect the Standard Hyrulian Imperial Build, at least not for Hylians.
Did anyone say giant, middle-aged Queen Zelda? Because that is a delightful concept.
And for the record, biceps-like-rocks and/or fat sounds awesome too, and I’d love to see it drawn!
All I wanna do
Is see you turn into
A giant woman
i wanna see queen zelda punt ganondorf back to the gerudo desert
my favorite thing about dracula is that in original folktales vampires bit their victims on the chest but bram STOKER, not wanting it to be SEXY, moved it to the NECK because he’s a dumb homo repressed idiot
… wait, he moved it to the neck to be less sexy?
i’m bram stoker, i’m protestant or whatever the fuck and tired of being in sexy thot ireland
these people need to know what sins of the flesh can lead to. time to write a whole book about biting i guess
