Vampire meme: “Existential Crisis Meal” and it’s just weird shit a vampire eats when theyre awake alone at 2PM and suddenly get overcome with the desire to eat some kind of food they used to like but actually getting it is pointless bc it’ll be gross to them so they just throw anything similar they have access to together and eat it anyway while they have a mild panic attack
Your vampire friend texting you at 1 in the afternoon:
God……please help me…I can’t stop watching niche furniture restoration videos on YouTube and eating these
Th same vampire friend 30 minutes later:
THE YOUTUBE FURNITURE MEN HAVE MY OLD ARMOIRE!!!!!!!
I was in a restaurant earlier and I heard someone a few tables over yell “GIVE ME SHRIMP OR GIVE ME DEATH” and the person next to them just casually said “Layla, with your seafood allergy I’m pretty sure you can have both”
this was the adult version of shrimp heaven now and the penalty for shrimp is death