When the Bard rolls a Nat 20 trying to seduce a big shot NPC
I feel this…
Is that pic the seduction or the NPC gettn sucked?
wanna know something funny? despite having 19 charisma and various items which can increase chraisma stat, the bard in my campaign has never successfully done a seduction roll. Hell last time he rolled it was to see how good of a kisser he was after being put in a snow white situation and needing to be awakened by the monk and he rolled really really bad and was essentially eating the monks face before he woke up
A concept: An adventuring party made entirely of people of one race disguised as people of another. The disguises are really bad, like the “dwarf” is just a halfling with a fake beard, the “orc” is an elf with body paint and novelty teeth, and the dragonborn is just three goblins in a trenchcoat- but none of them have any experience with any of the races in question and are trying not to draw attention to their own disguises, so all of them are fully prepared to accept any oddity on the part of their party members.
The halfling, having just been caught taking off their beard in private so they can breathe: ….this is normal for dwarves The goblins, who were looking for somewhere private that they can crawl out of the trenchcoat: Acceptable, have a nice day
Halfling: Friend orc, I don’t mean to alarm you, but the green appears to be coming off of your skin. Onto my hand. Elf: I. Have a skin condition. Halfling, discreetly adjusting their beard: Acceptable, have a nice day
are the party members aware that the others arent what theey say they are or are they doing their best to fit in
Georges Rochegrosse (1859–1938), Le Chevalier aux Fleurs (The Knight of the Flowers) (detail) (1894), oil on canvas, 235.5 x 374 cm, Musée d'Orsay, Paris. Wikimedia Commons.
Wait… so are the ladies reflected in the armor there… naked…? Wow, you go, Flower Knight!
my friend called me on the phone from the library to tell me he’d been chased by a mountain lion and he thought he might have vomited up blood and I was in the middle of scrubbing my car and having a heat stroke god my life keeps getting fucking weirder
mind you this is my friend who is the total chronic disaster who got into that knife fight in the middle school parking lot so I’m used to giving him shitty advice but this summer since I don’t talk on the phone he texts me every other day with some new terrible strange twist that has happened in his life like “my girlfriend almost got kidnapped” “there are three centipedes in my bed!” “I almost got mugged again” like normally I would just go help him but I’m 4 hours away now and it’s like he forgets GXHRVGSHFV
your friend is a protagonist
this I’m aware of I’m his sidekick and the epitome of the nerd best friend archetype but still it is my civic duty to complain
shit you gotta be careful then because youre gonna die just before the third act
