who’s the klutzy Hyrule ditz dropping all their rupees in grass????
a few years ago when I was really REALLY in to Twilight Princess and none of the newer ones had come out yet, and I had planned to write some Very Intense Fanfiction, I decided that I would make it a worldbuilding thing. Like, a cultural phenomenon in Hyrule where people go out of their way to hide rupees all over the place– along roadways and streams, in grass, under rocks, in old pots no one has used in years, or in old shoes, under fallen logs, under big honking rocks that no one has any reason to move. Originally, it was meant to be a sign of goodwill to travelers and those down on their luck, of community generosity and goodwill. Anyone can go out, comb a bit, and scrounge up enough for a meal. Or kids can run around having fun playing their seeking games and find enough for a sling shot, or a sweet. Parents teach their kids not to take more than they really need, to put some back, to keep the chain going. They make a game of it. Who can find the best hiding place? Who can climb to the highest branch, or swim to the bottom of the pond.
They tend to end up heavily clustered in the grass and under rocks along the main roads and paths. People leave out their old, well loved pots and butter churns and tipped over tubs, collect pretty rocks and bits of crystal, grow their herbs and bushes just a bit that wild out front– all to make an attractive place to maybe tuck a green or a red under. For some it’s a point of pride; for all, it tells you a bit about the person who lives there. It’s even practical, when you think of it! We all sometimes end up a little short, but there’s always some from the community to find, or something to tuck for yourself int he future when you realize you’re a bit skint. And when you’ve got a bit extra, well, it’s just NORMAL to go and find a little place to tuck it away and imagine who might find it. Maybe soon. Maybe in a few weeks or months. Maybe years, or decades. Don’t we all get a little big of excitement from the thought?
Communities don’t have really deep poverty that you can’t climb out of, not in Hyrule. There’s no embarrassment to have to pop out and look around a bit to afford a bit of milk or if you’ve forgot your wallet. If someone’s a bit too old or can’t see too well, there’s no shame in hinting, “Under the flower pot, grandma,” or, “Tomla, run out and fetch Mr. Tinkins a few rupees, there’s a love, always good at finding the odd ones out, that girl.”
Sometimes you find shiny rupees that weren’t hidden too well (maybe by that ferociously sweet village kid who keeps hiding them as quick as he’s finding them, bless him, just not very well). Maybe they hadn’t been there long. The contrast is huge when you find dusty, dirt-encrusted things that you think must be at least a few decades old. And then, sometimes you go digging back, adventuring down into the deep places and the old places where no one has traveled in centuries and you turn over a pot or open a little chest no bigger than a bottle and feel a little shiver to think of how long ago someone put this here. A little thankfulness to an ancestor, a little appreciation, a little shock because a silver rupee? Really??! How rich had they been, how powerful the empire, now all in ruins…
Sometimes in his travels, Link comes upon an old, dusty rupee tucked under an ancient discarded shield or a particularly handsome but impossible to move boulder that only a little magic or magical strength can budge. He grabs up the rupee under and feels a little shiver of familiarity… :)
so i’m riding the elevator up to my apartment when the emergency phone in the elevator starts ringing
and i just stand there for a second because this thing is like thirty years old and has never rung or even been used from what i know
but eventually i answer it thinking maybe something’s wrong with the elevator?? it’s an emergency phone it’s probably an emergency??? i dunno
except i shit you not it’s a telemarketer
a telemarketer that’s as confused as i am when i finally interrupt him mid-spiel to inform him he has the wrong number and then interrupt him again to explain further that “uh, no, seriously, this is an elevator phone. i’m standing in an elevator. talking to you. on the emergency phone. i really think you got the wrong number”
“oh,” says telemarketer guy.
“yeah,” i say.
there’s some mutually-confused silence.
“so, this is my stop,” i say. “i gotta go.”
“oh,” says telemarketer guy.
“good luck,” i add, because telemarketer guy seems like he’s having an existential crisis. and then i hang up on him, because he’s having an existential crisis and won’t actually end the call, and because again i’m talking on an elevator emergency phone and, you know, this is my stop, i gotta go.
please raise your children to wash their hands after they use the restroom I’ve watched too many men walk straight out of the bathroom from the stall without a second thought and it’s keeping me up at night
I mean if you taking a piss who cares if you don’t wash your hands, unless you just like go full power and spray yourself like a out of control fire hose
stay the fuck away from me
people who wash their hands after peeing are weak and must be culled
The only excuse for not washing your hands after you piss is mastering the art of pissing without touching your genitals.
You wash your hands every time you touch your dick? How grimy is your dick?
I’m literally never shaking a man’s hand ever again in my life y'all need jesus
remember how i told y'all?
(they don’t wash their hands after shitting either)
What I’m learning is that men are the reason for “employees must wash their hands” signs and why I never put 2 and 2 together is beyond me
Just out of curiosity, do yall wash your hands every time you touch your arm or the back of your hand or any other part if your body?
“According to epidemiologist Richard T. Ellison III, it doesn’t matter what you do in the bathroom when it comes to keeping your hands clean. ‘The rationale is that when toileting, it’s possible to have fecal material and fecal bacteria get onto your hands … So it’s wisest to always wash with soap and water even after urinating. Neither plain water nor alcohol hand sanitizers are effective at removing fecal material or killing bacteria in fecal material.’
“According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, handwashing can prevent various illnesses and infections. Ellison added that it can also keep us from coming in contact with E. Coli and hepatitis.This is especially important for men to bear in mind because of perianal sweat. This type of sweat forms around the perianal area, which is the patch of skin outside the rectum. It can then spread to one’s underwear and to other parts of the body like the penis. Biology professor Pat Fidopiastis explained, ‘The point is that simply touching the penis in an effort to direct your urine flow can be more than enough to transfer harmful microbes to your hands, and then on to the pretzels sitting in bowl on the bar.’“
WASH.
YOUR.
HANDS.
I reblog this every time I see it. Don’t be disgusting, wash your fucking HANDS.
The bar is so low for men, holy shit.
the bar is on the ground and these chucklefucks have brought shovels
