Silver Tongue

May 28

nikadd:
mrsmosby-wannabe:
Y’all John Mulaney didn’t die in Infinity War J.J. Bittenbinder taught him better than that
john mulaney when thanos arrives: you want this stone? go get it!
Infinity War 2: John Mulaney defeats Thanos

john mulaney plays whats new pussycat 21 times in a row with an its not unusual thrown in on thanos’s ship.

(Source: spaghetti-taako, via taffybuns)

May 27

possumoftheday:

Today’s Possum of the Day has been brought to you by: Attention!

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[video]

film idea

Dystpian future with a female protagonist who has to overthrow the government except the female protagonist is elle woods.

[video]

trilllizard666:

6qubed:
roxys:
seelcudoom:
roxys:
roxys:
any modern fma au where kain fuery doesn’t have a podcast is invalid
he’s just the fma equivalent to griffin mcelroy or something
“hey im kainne fury and this is shou tucker and welcome to monster factory”
FUCK YOU
THAT WAS UNCALLED FOR
being in the fma fanbase is like playing Russian Roulette except the bullets are tucker jokes and memes about maes hughes dying

if fury is griffin, consider hughes is travis and ed is justin

(Source: liquidstar, via taffybuns)

jitterbugjive:

how does “this is not morally okay as a punishment” translate to “they shouldn’t be punished at all”????
I’m seeing multiple people making this assumption

Because they dont have any valid argument so theyre trying to make you look bad rather than trying to make themselves look good. Theyre shit at defending their shitty fascist rhetoric.

[video]

memehumor:

Thought it was a good idea to brag about cheating

(Source: memehumor, via officialkeikoandgilly)

todayilearnedthat:

what-hath-science-wrought:
dingdongyouarewrong:
todayilearnedthat:
curvywarman:
todayilearnedthat:
TIL that the “ideal” pair of female hands based on science would be approximately 0.75 meters long, have several fingers and contain at least 5 bones. A divot on the end of each finger is also considered highly desirable.
via reddit.com
0.75 meters is like two fucking feet long what the fuck are you talking about
the ideal pair of hands
if you click the link it just leads to a blank page that says ‘the divots are for scooping up salsa’
hey so the combination of the precision of the 0.75 meter measurement and the deeply unsettling vagueness of ‘’several fingers’’ is honestly fucking my whole shit up
It’s hard to get a precise number when they keep changing.

(via tamascotchi-deactivated20190101)