when it comes down to it i really don’t blame gamzee’s friends (and future murder victims!) for ignoring him pre SGRUB bc the most irl equivalent of his behavior is “jehovah’s witness who can’t stop talking about his religious fixation, despite the fact that it’s known that his cult is super fucking weird and also terrible”. like…imagine it. you’re in your hive and your lusus is out getting dinner, and you get a knock at your door. it’s gamzee. he’s here to tell you about The Lord. you politely decline and say that you’re troll jewish. he continues with even more gusto about heresy and how to let the mirthful messiahs into your bloodpusher. you close the door and he’s still there, waiting, some pamphlets about teen depression and how the real cure is the MIRTHFUL MESSIAHS.
he literally came to her bat mitzvah and ate half of the buffet last week. why is he here
i just saw a post that redid POTUS as SCROTUS which stands for “so called ruler of the united states” and i wanted to let you all know that’s how i will exclusively refer to trump henceforth
imagine the Promised Day from the perspective of the normal soldiers
obviously, Team Mustang and few select members of Team Briggs knew about the homunculi and Father and the Elrics’ whole situation, but everyone else there thought they were staging a normal, run of the mill coup.
first King Bradley comes back from the dead and starts taking on tanks with his bare hands, then this weird Xingese guy no one knows shows up and tries to go toe to toe with him - and he isn’t really winning but he certainly isn’t dying like anyone else would, and he seems to have this weird body armor that just appears out of nowhere and one of the Central soldiers SWEARS he watched one of his injuries heal itself (”Can alchemy even DO that?” someone asks. “Who knows, alchemy is WEIRD,” someone else says, in the tone of voice that says they’ve given up trying to rationalize anything.)
then if that wasn’t enough, Bradley disappears to who knows where, everyone collectively passes out for a bit, there’s like weird black hands coming out of the ground, literally no one knows what’s going on but they don’t even get a chance to figure it out because this blond guy who looks like he’s 24 and could be Fullmetal’s brother shows up and starts like levitating? and throwing honest to god fireballs at people
kudos to the soldiers who not only decided fuck it, we’ll figure all that out later, but immediately started shooting the immortal, levitating guy
people try and ask the soldiers who were in the midst of the chaos what HAPPENED that day and the general answer is just like, vague shrugging and gesturing, confused and slightly horrified silence, or things like, “I dunno, man, Fullmetal fist fought a god, I think?”
“Fullmetal’s arm grew back,” someone tells their friend. “Right in front of us. One minute no arm, next minute….arm.”
and everything that happened with Alphonse is WILD if you had no idea he was a soul tied to suit of armor. imagine trying to explain THAT to someone
“Well, the Fullmetal Alchemist’s brother - you know the guy in the big suit of armor that always follows him around? - yeah, his armor got destroyed and it was just like empty? But then he did something and there was a lot of flashing lights and Fullmetal flipped out and a bunch of people huddled around his armor crying, but then Fullmetal did something with alchemy and like some kind of portal or some shit opened up?? He disappeared for a bit and then this skinny kid who looked a lot like him just APPEARED and everyone was acting like it was Fullmetal’s brother, but I have no idea how that kid could have managed to move in that suit of armor since he’s like half its height and the size of a twig.”
man, all the soldiers unanimously agree, alchemists are weird
dont even get started on what the armstrongs were doing. This giant thing came and was hitting them but then got really fast and then keeled over.
