I don’t know how she does it. I don’t know how she reads my intent so clearly.
When I walk to the kitchen to get a popsicle or thaw a slice of banana bread or warm up some mango slices, she doesn’t care. She stays on her chair and waits patiently.
But when I walk to the kitchen to scoop myself a bowl of ice cream, she’s at my heels SHRIEKING by the time I turn on the light. She knows. She’s not smelling it, she’s not hearing me say ‘ice cream’, she’s not accustomed to some predictable pattern because I rarely eat ice cream.
But she fucking figures out before I even reach the refrigerator. It’s the only human food she asks for, and I have to give her a small tithe of it to keep her from shredding the skin from my legs and popping my eardrums. She’s terrifying.
Registering the unique “ice cream gait”, try walking without rhythm so the cat will not be able to track your movements.
But what if it’s not my Ice Cream Groove… what if I excuse pheromones of Ice Cream Intent?
There have to be ways to thwart her Ice Cream Knowledge. Perhaps I will have to trick myself into believing that I’m actually getting up to thaw leftovers, and then I’ll start exuding Leftover Intent pheromones.
I DID IT!
I got up to make myself a cup of tea, thought Tea Thoughts, and then at the last moment I filled my tea cup with ice cream instead of tea.
My cat didn’t even notice. She didn’t smell it, or pester me while I was eating, or come running and yodeling her need when I opened the freezer.
I am free.
What happens if you think about ice cream while getting something else?
I just tested this. I got up thinking Ice Cream Thoughts, and by the time I got to the kitchen, guess who was at my heels meowing?
underrated mbmbam moment: when travis got a new dog and talked about wanting to give her a website like the one he has for his other dog (buttercupisaverygoodgirl.com) then realised if he wanted lilyisaverygoodgirl.com he needed to race justin at that exact moment for it and he franticly starts trying to buy it but finds that it exists already and redirects to justins twitter and its then revealed justin bought it the day travis got the dog
Here’s my piece for the @omgcpreversebang! I got to draw whatever my heart desired to see in a fic, which was nursey and dex bonding over a stray, and then @maxine-gayfield brought it to life and developed it into a story! You should definitely give it a read here : D
Like, if you’ve got a screenshot proving me and the wiki wrong? By all means, please show me so I can be corrected. But so far people pretty much have just given me a nebulous “I thought they were he/him,” or “you can choose whatever gender you want for them,” in which case, I choose NB.
sentient chess piece so mad about wearing a hat he goes on a murderous rampage across multiple universes, he eventually becomes part ultimate spirit dog
alien empress in a latex bodysuit with a trident who speaks solely in fish puns and is also betty crocker
omnipotent guy with a cueball for a head
big buff green skeleton time travelling alien demon with a peg leg
alternate version of big buff green skeleton time travelling alien demon with a peg leg, as a 13 year old 4chan user who hates women
a puppet, which is the vessel for big buff green skeleton time travelling alien demon with a peg leg’s soul
guy fieri
some juggalos specifically the icp
an alien capricorn clown who can never die
it makes me so mad that this is accurate
Wtf even is Homestuck?
We’re not quite sure either, tbh
I would like to point out that the 13 year old green skeleton with the mind of 4 chan trolls isn’t an alternate version of the big buff green skeleton, he’s the same guy just earlier on the timeline. Also the cue ball head and the Puppet vessel are also the same buff skeleton again at different points on his timeline
