Anonymous asked: Ghost follows the policy of "if it fits, I sits" and can be found sitting in literally any place they will fit. this includes Hornet's head after she takes a nap on a bench
Bad: Aliens who are bewildered by basic aspects of human society like cooking food and wearing clothes, implying that no similar practices exist anywhere else in the universe.
Good: Aliens who regard human society as largely unremarkable, but if questioned it rapidly becomes apparent that their understanding of the motive and purpose of various human cultural practices is subtly yet bizarrely askew.
“Ah, I see you have placed a simple lock upon the lavatory door for when you are… eliminating waste. I understand.”
“Thank you, Zazar…”
“You wish to make it harder for your enemies to ambush you during a moment of vulnerability. Very clever!”
“Wait, what?!”
That’s basic level what about more like:
“You’ve spent quite a long time cooking that meal, Human Jan.”
“Yeah, well, it’s been a while since I’ve had home-cooked food and there’s really no substitute, you know?”
Zorzr nods, then looks around and leans in close.
“I’m glad to have someone who understands. I suspect some of the other crew look down on my kind for consuming heated matter instead of thermo-regulating. But I’ve never thought about caring so much about the form of the heated matter before! We shall be great friends, Human Jan!”
“Uhh, actual– yeah, you know what, sure. We sure will.”
“Painting your mouth and nails in such a bright red is brilliant idea.”
“Thank you!”
“We never even considered painting such warning-colours on our carapaces to deter predators!”
“Well….”
“Ah I see, you drink this flamable poison as to make your blood toxic to predators?”
“No, Slork. I drink for many reasons but predators are not one of them”
John Jake
Jane
Jade
Roxy
Terezi
(Vriska)
Gamzee
Dirk Rose (Candy 25) Kanaya (Candy 25)
citations coming eventually
this list is only added to by either on-screen fucking or on-screen mentioning of fucking (narration or dialogue). for example: dave and karkat in meat we get a fade to black so they could’ve just had a sloppy makeout sesh (do i think they fucked? yes).
feel free to point out shit i missed
would popop crocker and nanna egbert count?
they’re rolled under “jake” and “jane”
shit i forgot grandpa harley had sex at least twice
