something we agreed we like about uncle vernon is that despite like, personally suffering at the hands of wizards pretty significantly (dudley’s tail, marge), vernon is like, always ready to fuck with wizards? like he is SO SCARED of them but he’s always ready to fight? please take this moment to imagine uncle vernon meeting voldemort
*scoffs* ‘“Dark Lord” huh??? that just sounds to me like another way of saying you don’t have a REAL JOB.’
more vampires who don’t remember more vampires saying ‘i don’t fucking know man, google it’ more vampires not remembering important historical figures more vampires not recalling centuries worth of history more vampires saying ‘ that was at least 300 years ago, how the FUCK could i remember that detail?’ more vampires whose brains work like human brains
More vampires who 300 years later can’t remember what was the truth and what was the lie they told to get out of trouble.
More vampires who are like, “I don’t know, man, I spent most of that decade in an opium den.”
More vampires who weren’t paying attention because they didn’t think it would be important.
More vampires who don’t know because there was lot of conflicting gossip and they don’t want to point any fingers.
More vampires who are just bad at dates. “Back in 1620, or was it 1645, wait, what year is it now?”
More vampires who were on a totally different continent when it happened, so get off their back and stop asking them questions already.
YES to all of this but also consider: vampires who only remember the most trivial stuff.
“Oh yeah, the only thing I remember about the American Revolution was this nice candlemaker I met sometime, and she was wearing this really cute red shawl…”
“Uhhh I don’t remember much about the fall of Rome but there was this one fucking cobblestone right outside the coliseum…”
Also consider: vampires who realize three or four hundred years after the fact that they knew someone famous.
Just sits up in bed one night screaming “THAT WAS GEORGE GODDAMN WASHINGTON”
*vampire wakes up his girlfriend in the middle of the night*
“Stacy. Hey, hey Stacy.”
“Wh- Eric, what now?”
“I just realized that I missed the entire Islamic golden age.”
“Wh- what?”
“I missed it, Stacy. The whole thing. I was lost in a forest the whole time. I was so lost.”
“Eric, I’m trying to sleep.”
“Stacy they… listen here, Stacy. I missed the invention of the number zero. Stacy, Stacy I’m freaking out.”
More vampires who don’t realize they were the catalyst for important events.
“I don’t remember much about Greece or Rome or whatever the fuck. I spent most of my time in some places with a bunch of books until I knocked over a candle and spilled wax on one of them. I was panicked and left. I’m too embarrassed to go back and haven’t set foot in Alexandria since.
you ever notice a lot of stuff is considered poor and gross unless its upper middle class (white) people doing it
food trucks in the 90s were the realm of taco trucks and fairground food and were always considered unhygienic and nasty until all these rich city kids started opening food trucks and now they’re “trendy” and “innovative”
riding your bike to work is only considered geofriendly if you can also afford to drive a car but don’t want to, then you’re saving the earth, everyone else isn’t somehow??
recycling old cheap stuff to be used as furniture and wearing really old clothing is a sign of poverty unless you’re doing it a certain way or wearing a certain kind of old clothing
double standards are gross and you should expose them in your life as much as possible
Johns Hopkins Computer Science prof Professor Peter Fröhlich grades his
students on a curve: the highest score on the final gets an A and
everyone else is graded accordingly.
Clever students in Fröhlich’s “Intermediate Programming”, “Computer
System Fundamentals,” and “Introduction to Programming for Scientists
and Engineers” figured out that this meant that if they all boycotted
the exam, they’d all get As.
So they organized a boycott, milling around the hall outside the class
where the exams were being sat, sternly reminding each other that if no
one sat the exam they’d all get straight As, ignoring Fröhlich’s pleas
to come and sit the exam.
Fröhlich praised his students’ solidarity: “The students learned that by
coming together, they can achieve something that individually they
could never have done. At a school that is known (perhaps unjustly) for
competitiveness I didn’t expect that reaching such an agreement was
possible.”
