HETERONORMATIVITY HAS LEAD ME TO VIEW MR. BRIGHTSIDE THE WRONG WAY FOR 12 YEARS OF MY LIFE, BUT NOW I AM WOKE AND UNDERSTAND THAT MR. BRIGHTSIDE IS THE ICONIC BISEXUAL ANTHEM WE’VE BEEN TRAGICALLY UNAWARE OF
to elaborate: our good friend Mr Brightside never gives us the specifics of whether he is jealous of the the man (who’s chest is being touched, now), the woman (who is taking of her dress, now), or both. Therefore we can draw no proper conclusion to our protagonist’s sexuality, and this is a revelation the entire world needs to know about.
There is an entire possibility Mr. Brightside isn’t straight, tell your friends.
the truth was right in front of our eyes this whole time
As a woman, I gotta say, nerds and “nice guys” create the most awkward situations.
Ive been given a diamond bracelet by someone who I only knew by their D&D name.
Another guy gave me a birth stone necklace after I’d just had a break up and just couldn’t understand why I needed time
Ive come home from a late night of studying to find a guy sitting beside my apartment door at 11pm. He’d “been waiting for hours” and “just wanted to see me.” (I don’t have to tell you how scary it is to see a grown man in an empty hallway when you are all by yourself.)
Ive had a guy send me 1000+ text messages…which started as a conversation about cartoons, turned into a love confession, then turned into him calling me a bitch
Not to mention the ones with jungle fever whose wet dream is not only a “nerd girl” but an “exotic nerd girl.” (“exotic” is just a cute word for fetishizing women of color)
And ALL of these men were self proclaimed “nice guys.” But what they don’t understand is that what they consider “nice” is usually creepy. You are a grown ass man. Waiting outside for hours is horrifying to women. Giving gifts and expecting sex in return is not a “nice” thing to do. I just wish “nice guys” would realize that the things they think are chivalrous and romantic are straight up horrifying and sociopathic. They think their loner status deserves some kind of sympathy and I should be greatful for the attention. But if they saw things from the female perspective they’d realize that that kind of behavior is literally stalking and bribery
