given that people are already noticing how tumblr dorks are turning top and bottom into basically gendered stereotypes my prediction is that the next bastard thing this dying website will do is finally reach the peak of its obsession with the western zodiac and turn it into a legitimate system of social hierarchy
Alright alright, the Epilogues were A LOT of stuff, specially confusing! As 90% of Homestuck so it’s ok I guess.
Today I got stuck in traffic for about 1 hour and got some time to think about a few things and discussed later on with some buddies and we sorta crammed out this sorta of theory for what the epilogues are really about / how they’re playing out.
(I’d like first to apologize, because I sucks at writing, I sucks at explaining and this is the first time I write down a fan-teory)
So here we go, hope you’re ready for some babbling nonsense!!! (all under the cut because it’s LONG)
I’m watching Jurassic Park and dreaming of a remake where the dinosaurs all have feathers.
NO BUT THE BOOK EXPLAINS WHY NONE OF THE DINOSAURS ARE ACTUALLY PROPER DINOSAURS BUT NOBODY READ IT
Okay okay okay so the book explains that the whole park was a terrible idea basically from the start. The genetic engineer (or like the rich nut in charge) once made a super tiny elephant as a pet and it was awful. Just an ill-tempered bald corgi of an animal. Just bad.
Now, the dinosaurs in the park aren’t exactly ‘clones’ of the DNA in the mosquito- in fact, the DNA in the mosquito isn’t really a big player. The book says that the dinosaurs aren’t really DINOSAURS as they existed, but essentially homemade animals built from scratch to Look and Act the way we think a dinosaur Should. Like glorified toys. They could have just as easily made one eyes one horned flying purple people eaters, and it wouldn’t have mattered.
Which is actually quite clever, seeing as it sort of bakes in an excuse for any factual inaccuracies in the movies, no matter how up-to-date the critters are at the time of production.
They don’t look the way dinosaurs ACTUALLY DID because their designs are BASED ON INCOMPLETE DATA, not solid and complete genetic samples taken from real life.
They had one line in Jurassic World to explain all that:
Henry Wu : “Nothing in Jurassic World is natural, we have always filled gaps in the genome with the DNA of other animals. And if the genetic code was pure, many of them would look quite different. But you didn’t ask for reality, you asked for more teeth.”
Took four movies, but they explained it.
Frog DNA was mentioned in the first movie, it just took beating people over the head with it.
Fluffy T-Rexes Eating Capitalists.
That’s all I want.
My favorite Jurrasic Park theory is that none of the creatures have any real dino dna at all. That the whole “mosquito in amber” story is a lie to make it believable; those animals are just chimeras of frogs and iguanas and emus and crocs and whatever the fuck to make them look “right.” Total fabrications.
After all, why invite an archeologist to the park and not, say, a zoo manager?
Because the archeologists arent there to evaluate safety at all. They are there to see if these chimeras can fool even an expert.
