like i know there are a lot of fics out there where other vulcans are all “oh man, jim kirk’s so freakin HOT how’d spock get in his pants” but IF ANYTHING it’s actually the reverse. spock shows up on vulcan one day with Jim on his arm and all the other vulcans are OUTRAGED. They’ve spent years mooning (logically) over spock’s flaxen bowl cut. his dark eyes. his slightly lax emotional control that gives him just a hint of the “bad boy” vibe that we all know vulcans secretly go wild for. Sarek receives like a thousand bonding proposals a year from VSA graduates who all have google alerts set to notify them when spock gets a new xeniobiology article published. and then they find out. that the object of their (totally logical) affections. had the equivalent of a las vegas wedding with the human captain of his starfleet ship while in the middle of a five year mission. vulcans may be too logical to riot but on that day, a good many vulcans had to meditate for an extra hour or two just to contain their rage
This is the sci fi equivalent to that post about Gimli son of Gloin, the Stud of Erebor
Anonymous asked: Im crying, anon does NOT want big anime service titties or whatever, they have NO fucking clue how hard it is to sleep or do normal task with huge tiddies, you cant RUN or sleep on your stomach, the ONLY place to put the damn things when your sitting is ON the table (personal experience) and you can NEVER bend over without them crushing painfully against your knee while tying your shoe or whatever,,, this might just be personal experience but anon i promise big tiddies arent all that gr8
Conclusion: Voldemort was the most useless, magic dependant wizard that ever existed. He could have lived till like 200 if he just ate well and exercised, but no he had to go and split up his soul and ruin perfectly good jewellery, fucking dumbass.
this sounds like it was written by hermione granger at 1 am
He tried to use an advanced death magic spell to kill a baby. He literally doesn’t know how to do anything without magic. Just drop it out a window my dude, babies are so delicate
Aaand that was Ron
you know what this means though, right? the secret to long life is having a nose!