Silver Tongue

Apr 06

fartgallery:
starbucks barista: ive got a caffe mocha for… “russian spy”?
everybody: [remains seated and eyes each other suspiciously]
barista [throwing his CIA badge at the floor in defeat]: dammit i thought for sure that would work
Memes that are funny in 2018 and 1958

(via rosexknight)

[video]

doubletranquility:

the best joke scp is the one where the scp itself is just typical mediocre normal scp fare (dark matter bracelet that kills people) but the joke is that the scientists behave like scp community members instead of actual scientists

(Source: dreamcasko, via gearholder)

paulepz:

You have no idea how much i need that horse friend

(via bloodsbane)

yelnatszeroni:

eclipsebykimlipmp3:
toteslegitfoxnews:
cishetsbeingcishet:
you fucking degenerates: it was an accident!!!!!! it just slipped out!!!!!!! he forgot he was live!!!!!!! IT WAS A HEATED GAMING MOMENT!!!!!!!!
me: thinks about vinny from vinesauce, someone who exclusively does livestreams, someone who has had plenty of Heated Gaming Moments and once got so enraged at continuously losing at mario kart that he literally threw up, but has still never accidentally said a fucking racial slur
me:
The thing his fans seem to ignore is that words don’t “slip out” unless they’re words you use regularly enough that your brain instantly reaches for that word.
excuse me did you just say a guy got so mad abt mario kart that he vomited
It be like that

(via bloodsbane)

funfetti-cakke:

starfleetrambo:
magnolia-noire:
logynnrose:
weavemama:
MILLENNIALS ARE BLAMED FOR EVERYTHING IT’S GETTING SO OLD
The Black Death wasn’t transmitted by rats. It was transmitted by millennials.
millennials shot versace
millennials killed off the dinosaurs
Millennials shot Archduke Franz Ferdinand of Austria and Sophie, Duchess of Hohenberg.

Meteors didnt kill the dinosarus… Millennials did.

(via chefpyro)

westafricanbaby:

tamorapierce:
problackgirl:
Don’t date men who disrespect women, doesn’t matter if he’s nice to you. If he’s constantly disrespecting other women, nah.
If he’s constantly disrespecting other women, he’ll get around to you sooner or later.
‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️ i tell girls this every time!!! Watch how he treats other people.

(Source: lavienfuckoff, via deep-sea-prince)

[video]

xkcds:

Plus, the photo was geotagged, my unlocked password manager was visible on the laptop, AND you could see my naked reflection in the dark part of the screen.
Paperwork [Explained]

(via adurot)