One time I saw this New Yorker cartoon with a piece of penne pasta answering the phone and saying, “Fusilli, you crazy bastard! How are you?” and now I cannot cook fusilli without thinking you crazy bastard
Penne lische is smooth and doesn’t hold sauce the way penne rigate does
The grooves make more sauce adhere to it
wait that picture up there then ACTUALLY is of a smooth tube and not just. a bad picture?
smooth penne exists?
that’s horrifying the ridges are the best part it’s like eating a tiny accordion
And that is why it is an abomination.
Disgusting. Vile. I would die before eating that filth.
I have eaten penne lisce. Objectively the worst pasta. If you sneeze too hard in its general direction, any sauce on it will fly off. You can literally cook it in tomato sauce and it will still taste of nothing. Even if you stuff cheese inside it by hand, meticulously, individually, it will fall out. No friction on these fuckers. Bad pasta.
I love how this global situation has brought us to the absolute limits of our humanity in all ways.
There has to have been a cycle where both twins perished leaving the others to cook for themselves…
Imagine going from delicious and gourmet food to, well… whatever is vaguely palatable and in stock. No transmutation of matter into edible material. No fancy dishes or treats. No meals tailored to loose dietary needs and preferences.
Only sustenance.
Everybody has to learn how to feed a crew of five while their cooks and arcanists are gone.
Catering to five food preferences of varying levels of culinary skill? That’ll spell disaster.
Food poisoning definitely happens.
Fires are started. So many fires.
Fights over whether things are too spicy or bland are nearly to the death.
Pasta is often crunchy and oversalted.
Magnus insists on meat and protein to stay strong. It is often questionably red or charred.
Merle demands vegetarian nights. Everything has an amount of dirt in it.
Barry forgets his nights to cook because he was too busy studying. When he does cook, he loses track of time. They almost lose the kitchen more than once. He has eaten cheese accidentally so many times.
Lucretia relies solely on tea and ramen or packaged oatmeal. Anything that is kettle friendly.
Davenport is arguably the best of the bunch but for a gnome his food is rather… bland. Simple. Basic.
When the twins come back the next cycle, everybody celebrates. Taako and Lup then vow to leave behind a functional cookbook for their hungry and hopeless crewmates and to show them the basics of making half-decent meals.
