infinity war rewrite. opening scene. instead of monologuing about nonsense for five minutes (boring) and killing heimdall (unnecessary) thanos just grabs loki by the ankles and shakes him upside down until the tesseract falls out his pocket, but then thanos keeps shaking him and more and more entirely identical tesseracts just keep falling out of loki’s pockets and making a pile on the ground and this goes on until the point where it becomes comical
Loki survives by being disguised as one of the tesseract and Thanos has just been shaking his duplicate
Later after Thanos has put the space stone in the infinity gauntlet when he tries to snap it turns into Loki and he’s like “Blargh,” and stabs him
what i’m thinking: Griffin McElroy writing an entire backstory on the invention of the elevator into the events of the Adventure Zone solely to spite listeners who told him he couldn’t put elevators into his dnd campaign is the modern day equivalent of CS Lewis making the lamppost a center element of his Narnia series just so he could piss off JRR Tolkien who said that no good fantasy book would have a lamppost in it
“Ahh, Perry the Platypus! Behold: the INFINITY GAUNTLET!…. Inator. With one snap of my fingers as I collect the sixth stone, I will have infinite power, enough to…. create more resources for the entire planet! They will WORSHIP me as a hero, and I will take over the ENTIRE TRI STATE AREA!”
“What? Kill half of all people? What kind of crazy person would do that?”
