The age-old animosity between dwarves and ogres stems from a secret that ogres keep – namely, that dwarves are delicious. Ensuring that this secret does not spread is dwarfkind’s first priority, and the stereotype of ogres as compulsive cannibals has been cultivated primarily to ensure that nobody believes them when they try to explain.
The popular belief that kobolds are descended from dragons, though
false, is not entirely without merit: in fact, dragons are descended
from kobolds. The particulars of how this came about are poorly
understood, as kobolds are disinclined to write things down, but alcohol
is believed to have been a factor.
The creatures we think of as trolls are actually biological vehicles piloted by a race of very small, very quick humanoids. Trollish “regeneration” is nothing more than these creatures rushing about making speedy repairs; acid halts the process because occupational safety regulations prohibit the repair crews from working in the presence of chemical spills.
The reason all goblins look so similar is that there’s just the
one goblin. In the face of mortal peril, it reflexively teleports as
far from the threat as possible, in both space and time; thus entire
civilisations have formed from the impossibly tangled timeline of a
single immortal being. As a creature of a very short memory, it has no
idea that this is the case.
There is no such thing as the tarrasque; the creature is a plausibly deniable fabrication employed to explain away the collateral damage of poor decisions by high-level adventuring parties.
This reads like a conspiracy theorist tabloid you’d find in the checkout lanes of Fantasy Costco
Headline: DIRE BEAR OUTED AS THREE DRUIDS IN A TRENCHCOAT
actually when I was in 8th grade and obsessed with twilight my master plan as a twilight vampire was to sit around in famous shipwrecks like the super deep ones where they can only send robots with cameras from their submarines and when they sent one down i’d be sitting there, pretending to drink out of an old tea cup you know for the drama of it all and the guys in the submarine would know what they saw and that it was real footage but who else would believe them? no one important.
but it didn’t stop there. at the next party they threw to celebrate one of their latest finds, some museum-y banquet idk I was 13, I was going to show up. I was going to show up and make eye contact with them one at a time from across the room and they were going to lose their goddamn minds and then before the volturi could catch wind i was gonna be back in the ocean. how could they find me?
the drama. the theatrics. i can’t believe i didn’t realize i was gay right then but that’s another story, also involving vampires,
hate to burst your fantasy, but
1) vampires don’t show up in film
2) vampires can’t cross moving water much less sit at the bottom of the ocean
you’ve got me a in a difficult position here because on the one hand, this post is specifically about vampire lore in Twilight, so you’re wrong, but on the other hand, saying “you clearly didn’t read twilight” doesn’t exactly make you look like the bad guy here
i mean one could argue the reason they didnt show up on film awas because film was developed using silver which si the purest metal and vampires would show up on digital cameras so it would still be applicable
actually when I was in 8th grade and obsessed with twilight my master plan as a twilight vampire was to sit around in famous shipwrecks like the super deep ones where they can only send robots with cameras from their submarines and when they sent one down i’d be sitting there, pretending to drink out of an old tea cup you know for the drama of it all and the guys in the submarine would know what they saw and that it was real footage but who else would believe them? no one important.
but it didn’t stop there. at the next party they threw to celebrate one of their latest finds, some museum-y banquet idk I was 13, I was going to show up. I was going to show up and make eye contact with them one at a time from across the room and they were going to lose their goddamn minds and then before the volturi could catch wind i was gonna be back in the ocean. how could they find me?
the drama. the theatrics. i can’t believe i didn’t realize i was gay right then but that’s another story, also involving vampires,
hate to burst your fantasy, but
1) vampires don’t show up in film
2) vampires can’t cross moving water much less sit at the bottom of the ocean
you’ve got me a in a difficult position here because on the one hand, this post is specifically about vampire lore in Twilight, so you’re wrong, but on the other hand, saying “you clearly didn’t read twilight” doesn’t exactly make you look like the bad guy here
