Silver Tongue

Feb 08

writing-prompt-s:
drowningqueen:
What if the sun doesn’t actually hurt vampires?
Vampires are just nocturnal, the same way we are diurnal. A vampire could go out during the day, but they would just rather be sleeping.
Vampires are just afraid of the light, the same way we are afraid of the dark. Their eyes are meant to see in the dark, so they just can’t see very well in the light. It hurts their eyes and they can’t see what’s around them, so it’s just scary.
Some vampire was probably too afraid to admit that he was afraid of the light, so he made up a fake allergy to the sun. Word got out to mortals, so we just assumed that all vampires are allergic to the sun. You know how mortals like to stereotype and whatnot.
But imagine pop, sunny vampires that are the vampire version of goth, dark humans. They like to go out in the sun and wear bright clothes, and the other vampires think it’s metal as fuck. “Oh, you know Victoria Anne III? Yeah she’s totally pop. Her friends call her Susan.”
I fucking love this
Vampire with blonde hair and Hawaii t-shirt:IT’S NOT JUST A PHASE MOM YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND!

(via robustquestioner-deactivated202)

octopusheart:

dendropsyche:
sharped0:
clientsfromhell:
Client: I threw out that black pen, it was out of ink.
Me: What black pen?
Client: The one that was lying on your tablet.
Me: You threw out my $150 Wacom pen?
Client: I tried writing with it and it didn’t work. It must’ve been out of ink.
this almost made me cry
this is simultaenously the best and worst submission i’ve ever seen from Clients from Hell.
I feel ill

(via demilypyro)

[video]

kakarrot:

roxan1314:
kakarrot:
Wait goofy dies in kingdom hearts ? Goofy dies ? What the
He doesn’t die. He just gets knocked out.
Then I’ll kill him myself

(via robustquestioner-deactivated202)

deadgripss:

gaygothur:
gaygothur:
Royal houses where every single member has the same horrible horrible face is one of the funniest developments of monarchism
Virgin House of Windsor vs the chad House of Habsburg

(via stemmmm)

jitterbugjive:

jaspertheshark:
momworries:
hi-imkingdavid:
I read a comment earlier that said “You gonna have to either shoot or stab this one. If it can flatten itself, stepping on it only has 50/50 chance of working.”
God probably thinks this shit is hilarious
Spiders are just trying to live their lives. What have yall ever done?
hi mother nature what the fuck are you smoking because I want some

(via jitterbugjive)

probablybadrpgideas:

The Deck of One Thing (the one thing is a live crab)

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rams-rodent-world:

sparkxii:
Tumblr post: Rat
Me : *blacks out and reblogs*
yeah

(via filibusterfroggo)

benepla:

theotheristhedoctor:
dunkstein:
dunkstein:
I will be 70 years old and I still will never have gotten over the time the Mythbusters used a rocket powered steel wall to - and I use this word as literally as possible - vaporize an entire car into red mist
https://youtu.be/Nl8xTqTUGCY
If you haven’t seen this episode of Mythbusters I feel so bad for you because “What car?” remains to this day as a defining moment of my adolescence and my entire life
That was a near-religious experience
the best thing is it didnt even really bust the myth they were going for

(via pembrokewkorgi)