I feel so bad but i’m just sitting here cackling as my bestie is sending me increasingly exasperated texts about her students’ first research paper (1 page long lol). Like. Despite having deadlines for each stage of research and writing, one kid emailed her at 7:45 pm for the final 10 pm deadline with a question about “resurch.” Multiple kids have plagiarized their papers, one of whom didn’t even bother changing the font or the color of the sections he copied and pasted. One girl just cited a fucking fanfiction story as one of her sources.
Middle schoolers are so precious, but god they can be so stupid too. Darling children lol
update: fanfiction girl may have put it in the works cited but didn’t even bother to put quotation marks in as she just copied and pasted two full pages of a fanfiction into her paper. every little additional detail i learn about these papers just gets worse lol
she sent me the link of the story she copied and pasted. it is…not good. it’s not even a good story. why did she steal it? god this entire sordid tale is so baffling. is it possible that this child has genuinely mistaken bad self-insert fanfiction for legitimate greek mythology? the world may never know
“Also, fanfiction.net is a community of modern fiction writers, and is not a credible source for your research papers.” - an actual sentence my friend just had to write to her students. i’m dying this is incredible lol
“Although the Trojan horse is something we all think is real, it’s actually classified as a myth.” oh you sweet summer child
“I used this video thing to find out what the roman house you can find out.” what does this even mean lol
god they’re such precious babies fumbling around like newborn colts and i am living
“The Trojan War Horse was built around the time the Trojan War took place.” I mean. He’s not wrong…
“
Like Gaea, Ouranos had a human form too, in his human form he was a tall buff guy, with long black hair, wearing only a loincloth… (don’t judge me, Gaea was the one who made him…)
So then they get married, bla bla bla bal bal.”
“
So they have triplets, and these kids define UGLY. Now don’t get me wrong they were as big and strong as the titans but they were so brutish and NEEDED any kind of waxing, and to top it all off each one had a huge eye in the middle of their forehead. They became the elder cyclops.Of course when Ouranos saw them he was like “Nope!” and made chains out the nights pure blackness and chained up the triplets and tossed them into the pit.”
“
So Gaea had come up with this new and brilliant idea called killing.”
“
But that is a story for another time. For now I will work on painting some of the moments for the LAVP so see ya later.My references are:“Percy Jackson and the Greek Gods” book by Rick Riordan, Goggle, Wikapedia”
Okay I honestly never anticipated this post to go beyond my immediate circle, and apparently some people have missed the point of this post. This is their first paper. They are learning and part of learning is doing things very badly before doing them well. Honestly I only wanted to share some nostalgic cute-response trigger with y’all witnessing the first adorable, fumbling baby steps into this kind of assignment, not for some of you to fucking judge them or their teacher just because their first attempts aren’t perfect. So like. God just enjoy it without being an asshole.
“In this paragraph I will be telling you the dimensions of the Colosseum in Rome.” “In this paragraph I will be talking about the features of the Colosseum.”
Not what was meant by making sure you have a strong thesis statement, but kudos to this kid who was obviously listening and trying to apply that to their paper <3
“I am going to talk about things like Odysseus’s stops, the characters involved with his stops, and how long and far he traveled to get home. I can’t wait to show you everything that I have learned so far!”
oh my god this precious sunflower
“Nearly every town in Ancient Greek has a patron god or goddess because most gods didn’t share well.” There’s almost nothing wrong with this sentence I’m just enjoying this masterful use of understatement.
i read this entire thing nodding, going, yes, yes, this is what my students are like also. this is #relatable content.
In the near future, you are making dinner because you are about to meet your girlfriend’s dad for the first time. All you have in the kitchen is cooked frozen steaks. In walks your girlfriend and her dad, Gordon Ramsey.
This isn’t a prompt, this a fully finished horror story
Gordon ramsay, knowing this is not a high end resturaunt and you cannot afford to buy high end steaks, and that you do not claim to be a professional chef, appreciates the gesture and even gives some pointers on how one can cook on a budget and you all have a great time.
West Virginia teachers just shut down the ENTIRE STATES SCHOOLS.
They went on strike.
They worked with churches, community centers, and food banks to make sure that students who rely on school to be a safe place or for a meal will still be able to get them.
They are one of the lowest funded states for education. Many teachers working retail and food service on the weekends.
They can’t properly make lesson plans when they can’t feed their own children.
They can’t teach all day to kids after working all night to pay bills.
They can’t watch their students education suffer because they are not being paid enough to live.
They are demanding better funding to schools.
They are demanding pay raises.
They are demanding better health benefits.
They are demanding the safety of their students.
Students in multiple counties led a support system for their teachers. Wearing purple to support them and hyping up social media.
More information. WV teachers are the 48th-lowest paid in the country and are looking at only 1-2% raises over the next few years. (Vox)
My mom was a teacher and still works in the public schools. My dad volunteers at the same school. I support teachers, and I support teachers doing what they have to do to get the salaries and benefits they need and deserve.
Im having trouble explaining this to myself, the fuck?
So Stormy Daniels, Aka: The Ex-Pornstar who was paid to sleep with Donald Trump in a case of Adultery literally no one was surprised by, released an Interview talking about the experience. And one of the things she mentioned was that he was watching Shark Week and was obsessed with it in the most Trump way ever. I’ll post a little exert cuz from that Interview because it contains more gold than the entirety of 45′s tacky as fuck apartment:
“The strangest thing about that night — this was the best thing ever. You could see the television from the little dining room table and he was watching Shark Week and he was watching a special about the U.S.S. something and it sank and it was like the worst shark attack in history. He is obsessed with sharks. Terrified of sharks. He was like, “I donate to all these charities and I would never donate to any charity that helps sharks. I hope all the sharks die.” He was like riveted. He was like obsessed. It’s so strange, I know.”
And because every intelligent person in the world has firmly taken the stance of “If I want to be able to look myself in the mirror tomorrow, I will do the opposite of everything Donald Trump does”, Everyone started donating to Shark Charities in an amazing example of collective beneficial pettiness. I’m thinking there’s a marine biologist out there right now somewhere like “Listen if we can just get him to say he hates Sharks on live TV we could repopulate the entire fucking ocean by 2019.”
In an amazing example of collective beneficial pettiness
