Utroba Cave in the Rhodope mountains, Bulgaria. Carved by hand more than 3000 years ago (?), it was rediscovered in 2001.
Archeologists
hypothesize that an altar built at the end of the cave, which is about
22 m deep, represents either the cervix or the uterus.
At midday, light seeps into the temple through an opening in the ceiling, projecting an image of a phallus on to the floor.
When
the sun is at the right angle, in late February or early March, the
phallus grows longer and reaches the alter, symbolically fertilizing the
womb before the sowing of the spring crops.
These people were drawing dicks on the ground with the sun in 1000 BCE. All you fools messing with Sharpies need to step up your game.
“Hee! That looks kind of like-”
“Come on, self, don’t make it weird. It’s just a cave.”
For background we were exploring a sunken citadel when we came across a room with a hole in the floor. So naturally the half orc decided to hold me, a gnome, over the hole. He ended up dropping me into the hole.
DM: you find a room filled with mushrooms and some skeletons tending to their mushroom garden at the bottom of the hole
Me: I’d like to make a charisma check to see if I can charm them by giving them gardening tips.
DM: I guess??
Me: *rolls a nat 20*
DM: I guess… you walk over and look at their garden and tell them that they’re using too much fertilizer. They look at you and nod in agreement.
The rest of the party had finally made its way down the hole and accidentally squished some mushrooms causing the skeletons to attack despite my hospitality. I shed a single tear when I killed one of the skeletons
this is honestly a common way people try to invalidate trauma victims, “how can we trust you when you’re so damaged?” and of course bill o’rielly would immediately go to that
“idk if we should listen to all these kids saying they don’t want easy access to guns, i mean they just survived like the billionth gun massacre so maybe their opinions are tainted :^/ i would know because i’ve never been killed by a gun in my life so we should hear my opinions instead”
