for the first like 14 years of my life i thought that the story of saint valentine and valentines day were a celebration of a massive gay polyamorous marriage and let me tell you, i was sorely disappointed when i learned i had massively misunderstood that story
i was told the basic story of “the king had made it illegal for young men to get married so that they could be drafted off to go to war (as married men with families were not, apparently)” and that “saint valentine thought this was cruel, and married the young men in secret”
what this was supposed to communicate to me was “saint valentine would marry young men to their girlfriends in secret as a priest at his own risk and thats why we celebrate valentines day”
what i got out of it was “saint valentine married a shitton of dudes so he could protect his army of husbands from having to go to war and it was beautiful and love can halt war in its tracks and thats why we celebrate valentines day”
and thats why the assumption that a child would automatically get a hetero interpretation of the story and the innate unclarity of the english language made me think that valentines day was about mass gay poly marriage until i was like fourteen and recited the story to a friend who stared at me like id grown three extra heads
(And he did 101 gay weddings because he was trying to compare the Attorney General against marriage equality to Cruella DeVille, like, 101 dalmations.)
THE TRUE UNPROBLEMATIC FAVE
Come to think of it I never actually found a single reason to dislike him. To my knowledge he’s just a goofball who likes food.
Okay, so as far as I can tell, the whole thing people kinda roll their eyes about is Guy Fierei’s whole presentation. He’s loud and he’s got the bleached hair and he kinda seems like the annoying frat bro chanting “Shots!” at a party.
But.
Dude’s biggest show on TV is one where he drives around and highlights tiny restaurants that make good food. (And they do- I found my favorite pizza place in town because it was on Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives.) And they’re all little places, usually run by family or something, making food they love. So he’s doing an amazingly awesome thing for these small restaurants, driving a lot of business to them. I found this article that’s talking about how places see a definite bump in sales, and they can even tell when a repeat airs, because they’ll still get emails and stuff.
And there’s the fact that every time he goes out to film an episode, he invites a kid along from the Make-a-Wish foundation- actually, he invites their whole family, so no one feels left out. Apparently, that happens on all his shows, which is pretty amazing. Again, this is because of his sister- she was diagnosed with cancer as a kid, and beat it, though she died of melanoma a few years ago. So because he went through that as a kid, he does a lot to help out families who are dealing with that sort of thing. It’s pretty awesome.
I admit it, I’ve made fun of him before, because he does have that whole attitude that kinda grates. But when you put that aside, he’s a dude who’s enjoying himself, helping out a lot of people, and talking a lot about food he thinks is delicious. So good for him. There’s worse things in the world.
I have always and will always love guy. he’s such a big goof…what’s not to love…
Y'all Guy is wonderful. He got his start on Next Food Network Star and I remember that season very vividly. I saw it as a kid. He just wants people to have fun while they eat. That’s literally his only goal. There was a challenge where they had to make cupcakes for 5 year olds and everyone made these boring ass cupcakes like ‘Oh they’re decorated like the 4 seasons see its educational’ and they were criminally dull. The only thing that was changed was the frosting. And Guy comes up and starts making all these crazily shaped sushi cupcakes. Like cutting them into goofy shapes, making them bite sized, modeling them after dragons and stuff, it was so cool and the kids were EXCITED. He gets what makes thing fun on a fundamental, basic level. He’s not a douchebag frat boy. He’s that crazy uncle you were always excited to see at family gatherings.
Go watch Guy’s Grocery Games. Its on Hulu. He’s so goofy and fun and he’s just as excited for the winners as the winners themselves. The show really makes me happy to watch.
Y’all I joke on Guy Fieri but he geninely is an amazing motherfucker.
