Everyone talks about how sad the little one that follows is whenever the crewmate dies but nobody talks about the little one that sits on the crewmates head
“There doesnt seem to be any nutritional value in eating skeletons”
— player ooc (via yourplayersaidwhat)
Sorry but thems the breaks. In his gerudo form, he spent his life hunting the triforce, studying magic and trying to stop link. he didnt have the time. Where was he gonna get puss or be pegged? in the sacred realm? the only one there is rarues crusty old man schlong. and then when he broke free he was spent is time raising a bird to steal people.
in the kid timeline he got hunted down and exiled to the twilight realm where he became a giant floating magical flaming head. As much as zant offered theres no way for ganon to fuck
and dont get me started on the downfall timeline. he was brooding in his tower with the full triforce and nary a puss in sight. he had to disguise himself as some jackass wizard just to go to the grocery store in the light world.
