Constantly torn between “I can’t ask for help bc then I’m annoying and everyone will be mad” and “I must ask for help at every possible stage because I might do it wrong and then everyone will be mad” ya feel
HOLY SHIT U PUT IT IN WORDS
(via demon-space-boi)
this is THE funniest thing i have ever read
this is the subplot of bend it like beckham
(Source: 1995lahaine, via dan-mcneely)
friendly-neighborhood-patriarch:
Summer Olympics: Who can run the fastest? :) Who can swim the fastest? :) Who can do the best somersault? :)
Winter Olympics: WHO CAN MAKE IT TO THE BOTTOM OF THIS ICE SLIDE OF DEATH AND SURVIVE?? WHO CAN GET AROUND THE RINK WITHOUT GETTING THEIR HANDS SLICED OFF BY EVERYONE ELSE’S FEET BLADES?? CAN THIS GUY DO A 1080 DEGREE FLIP WITHOUT DYING??
Basically
(Source: himbohargreeves, via dan-mcneely)
(Source: memewhore, via dan-mcneely)
(via dan-mcneely)
a gamer girl? and she has claws?
did you put anime blush on this lizard
(Source: internetbynight, via dan-mcneely)
things i say that confuse and worry my coworkers:
- “happy birthday” every time i hand them something
- “well, that’s not ideal” whenever something is going wrong
- “we are in the timeline that god abandoned” whenever i’m mildly inconvenienced
- “can’t you see that your fighting is tearing this family apart?” whenever two or more coworkers are arguing
- referring to taking medication as “eating medicine”
- “time to go back to prison!” when putting animals back in their cages
- referring to inanimate objects as (s)he, particularly when i break something and say “oh no, he’s dead.” this concerns them especially when i follow it up with “that’s not ideal”
- “what are they gonna do, fire me?”
I work in a blood bank, and constantly refer to blood types as flavors, such as “Oh, you need two units? What flavor is he?” And my older coworkers just look at me confused but my coworker that’s my age doesn’t miss a beat and responds “A Pos”
this is probably my favorite comment on this post so far
(Source: werewolf-boi, via dan-mcneely)
apparently February 14th will be a full moon. Celebrate with your lover by turning into a werewolf on your date and devouring them. 100% romantic i am an expert.
dont forget bloodbending
Bloodbending: a sure way to get that dick up
(via chefpyro)
[video]
gods but they have patreons
pledge at least 1$/mo to be counted as a follower. for 5$/mo you get free coffee and bagels at the local place of worship. for 15$/mo they’ll answer at least one (1) prayer per month
That’s what the Catholic Church was though? Didn’t they have those “forgives one (1) sin” cards?
1. i’m specifically talking the aesthetic of a deity having their own personal patreon. we’re talking aphrodite’s highest-tier patrons getting Ensured Soulmates kinda shit, not the concept of tithing, or sacrifices, or catholic indulgences (which were indeed at one point in the middle ages heavily commercialized). full scale urban fantasy, here. freyja has an etsy.
2. are you… implying the catholic church… doesn’t exist anymore?
(via chefpyro)
