online friendships are a delicate mix of “i know all your deepest secrets” and “wait you’re not left-handed”
And “hey, I wrote some porn for you.”
“Also, what is your name again?”
“I could not pick out this person from a crowd but I know their OTP, their kinks, all about their cats Mr. Fluffens, what they had for dinner and that they’re depressed.”
Someone spilled their dunkin donuts coffee in the school lobby so this kid got out his dunkin donuts uniform and started directing traffic around it saying things like “Ma’am watch out, this is a DUNKIN DONUTS MATTER”
when a security guard walked up to him to ask what he was doing the kid told him to stand back he was just doing his job
“We invite the children of same-sex couples to listen,” said the radio announcer. “We invite the children of different-sex couples to listen. We do NOT invite the Children of the Corn to listen.”
“Not that there’s anything wrong with that,” a different voice cut in. “Some of our best friends are…” *realized what he was saying was ridiculous* “… corn.”
