Silver Tongue

Nov 09

[video]

dingdongyouarewrong:

chuck tingle, two time hugo award nominee and author of such erotica classics as ‘space raptor butt invasion’, ‘i’m gay for my living billionaire jet plane’, ‘bigfoot pirates haunt my balls’, and ‘there’s a bitcoin in my butt and he’s handsome’ just published a short story about the importance of consent and how it’s okay to have a loving relationship without sex if you want to??? 

that’s lovely on its own but it’s also called ‘not pounded in the butt by anything and that’s okay’, which is my favourite book title ever

(via nofacednerd)

eyesprawl:

griffin mcelroy voice: welcome to my fun comedy show for jokes :) in this episode, listen as a man begs one of his closest friends to kill him so he doesn’t forget his missing wife’s face

(via robustquestioner-deactivated202)

[video]

[video]

roxdaa:

lolpacitha:

thrown-out-pasta:

not-so-innocent-bi-sander:

katatles-the-fish:

what-even-is-thiss:

prinxietys:

griffinmcelroyspisskink:

curiousobsession101:

griffinmcelroyspisskink:

i made a generator for yall to see what ur genders are

Normally these generators give me stupid boring shit that’s just very NO but

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Thank you this is now the only generator I will use ever.

glad to be of service >:3c

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Me: This isn’t gonna work

Me: *gets results*

Me:

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Stop being so on the nose.

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….

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…I mean. True.

Sorry guys i now identify as

big tiddie ??? Person

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Hhhhh tru

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Accurate

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You know what, thats valid

(via newbarrk)

millenary-kid:

mniarosy:

moonstone-reblogs:

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Saw a weirdly purple window and I had to meme it

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(via newbarrk)

spidey-pal:

perpetualmaelstrom:

green-gay13:

biggest-gaudiest-patronuses:

imagine a horror movie where all the characters are gen z and not particularly scared of dying

killer on the phone with a character: i’m in your house and i will kill you

character: alright lit hurry up tho

The fakest part of this is a Gen Z kid answering the phone

killer via dm on ig: i’m in your house and i will kill you

character: alright queen👏🏼💖 hurry up🔥🔥💦💦


Dont forget that kids know exactly which things to talk about that hurt you most
“really, hockey mask and chainsaw? real original, did your moms sever head dress you?”

(via newbarrk)

[video]

biggest-gaudiest-fish:

biggest-gaudiest-patronuses:

theawkwardchimera:

biggest-gaudiest-patronuses:

sweet fuck vampires are pale b/c they’re anemic

Did you only just realize this? They also suck blood because they cant get vitamin d from sun exposure.

take a multivitamin you melodramatic victorian appropriating eternal dumbasses

This is my favorite description of a vampire ever

(via newbarrk)