Silver Tongue

Dec 30

[video]

kingoftheunderground:
cakesoup:
kingoftheunderground:
kingoftheunderground:
kingoftheunderground:
kingoftheunderground:
I work at a coffee shop and have gotten all my co-workers to start calling lattes “hot milkybois”
I also got everyone to refer to the salted caramel blended drink as “the big salty” and I consider it one of my greatest accomplishments
Oh yeah and any time someone orders a hazelnut latte with almond milk (which specifically is a weirdly popular drink) I say “one HOT NUT latte coming right up!”
My coworkers have not latched on to this one like they did with the others for some reason.
I forgot to mention I also pronounce “hot chocolate” like “hot cocklate”… because I’m awful.
please give us updates
Our largest drink size is affectionately referred to as “Texas Size” so sometimes when I hand it out in the drive-thru I like to say, “Here’s that TEXAS SIZE [drink] for ya, YEEEEHAW!”
And some people look at me as though I have just made their entire day while others look like they they could not possibly get away from me soon enough. Both reactions are equally satisfying.
I made this into a game except when I hand out the Texas-size drinks I say “Can I get a YEEHAW?” And the guests always look mortified but occasionally one of them will let out a terrified “yeehaw” and all my coworkers cheer and then we keep a running tally of how many yeehaws we each get on the back of a pastry bag.

(via probably-shep)

jaclcfrost:

“that’s the spirit” i say as i gesture to the spirit that’s been haunting my home for years. when will they leave or start contributing to the household by doing something like helping with laundry. when will they pay rent

(Source: greelin, via aeritus)

[video]

giraffepoliceforce:

arbitrarycodeexecution:
yes yes, i, too, love tumblr’s favorite actors. misha collins, david tennant, and *looks at smudged ink on hand* benedict cumberbatch
We’ve turned mispronouncing Bidet Cankersore’s name into a popular enough joke that merely saying his name correctly is now a legitimately funny punchline.

We’ve delved too deep into this joke.

There’s no escape.

Tell my children I love them.

(Source: wingedcatgirl-archive, via newbarrk)

Just starting a new campaign with 6 new players:

yourplayersaidwhat:

DM (me): “You all arrive at a run down tavern in a swamp. The surrounding water is brackish and foul smelling-”
Our Tiefling Ranger: “I DRINK THE SWAMPWATER.”
DM: “…Okay, Roll a Constitution saving throw.”
Ranger: *rolls a 17*
DM: “You…somehow manage to keep it down.”

(via yourplayersaidwhat)

(Source: we-love-gaming, via scafe-dragon)

(Source: thedivaisdark, via bloodsbane)

argumate:

automaticnightmareperfection:
argumate:
presumably she has the superpower of sick burns
Actually, burns are her superpower. To be more exact, she has fire based powers, much like frozones. I know this because I was (and still am) a total nerd for the incredibles so I read the entirety of the special features on the disc, where you can learn about all the superheroes that are mentioned in the movie.
nice

(via bloodsbane)

kitanoko:

When your hotheaded explosive porcupine friend decides to fail the exam again by literally kicking a bunch of primary kids’ asses and you convince yourself that you don’t care

but you really do.

(via gearholder)