you know what would be really great? to just be an augur in ancient rome and get prophecies from birds. just get to hang out in my ceremonial clothes looking for vultures all day and every once in a while say something profound when i see a sparrow or w/e, and nobody will bother me because if they piss me off i can just tell them that they can’t lead a military expedition against the gauls because my sacred chickens don’t like them. what a life
some crusty old roman general: please augur, consult your chickens, for i desire to wage the greatest of wars against the wretched, barbaric carthaginians
me, hanging out with my pigeons, remembering last week when he cut me in line at the market and bought the red figure vase i wanted for his 8th country villa: unfortunate
This one time I was at a street festival hosted by my Uni and there was a guy doing card tricks. I was watching him when I noticed he dropped a card. (7 of spades) I quickly pu my shoe in it and then bent down to act like I was tying my shoe. He then asks for a volunteer so I raise my hand. He asks me to say the name of a card at random so I say “7 of spades” he does his trick that I guess was supposed to make it come on top. He holds up the Ace of Hearts and says “is this your card?” And I hold up the card and said “no but this is” and the crowd LOST IT. I handed the card back to the magician and walked away. Later he comes up to me and asks me how I did it. I looked him in the eye, smiled and said “magicians never reveal their secrets” and walked away.
plot twist, the greatest feat of earth is its food variety. All other planets only specialize in one food so humans are unique in that they have more than one kind of food. The cosmic goods find regularly visit earth to taste its cuisine and in exchange keep it from being destroyed by otherworldy forces.
Plot twist: Aliens have bad taste, and prefer unseasoned chicken over a good chicken Tikka Masala. Humans are weirded out by this, but stupid neighbor Tom agrees with the aliens, but only because it makes him feel good about his terrible chicken recipe.
Wolves React To Gamekeeper Who Had Been Away On Maternity Leave
“WHERE’S YOUR PUPPY! WE WANNA SEE YOUR PUPPY! DID YOU JUST HAVE THE ONE? DO YOU HAVE THEM WITH YOU? ARE THERE PHOTOS?”
I’m not a hundred percent positive but I’m pretty sure this is the wild life center where I visited wolves.
And the safety briefing included the question “So if you’re pregnant, do you want to know or not?”
Turns out there had been a bit of an awkward situation once where the keepers had casually mentioned a woman’s pregnancy in a group, and she herself didn’t even know yet. Turns out the wolves are excellent at telling if you’re pregnant and the keepers can tell based on their body language. They get all odd and careful around pregnancy. (Even wolves knows that you have to take care of pregnant people.)
So they definitely knew she was pregnant.
And if I remember my BBC documentaries right, a wolf will leave the pack to give birth and introduce the cubs to the pack once she feels ready for it. And maternity leave is flexible but often around 6 months so they’re going “YOU WERE GONE FOREVER! WE WERE SO WORRIED! WHERE ARE THE CUBS?? WE HAVE TO GREET THE CUBS!!“
Also the two on her back are fighting over who gets to greet her first. Giving and receiving attention is a commodity that goes by hierarchy and if you don’t accept that there will be scuffles.. The wolf lying down next to her isn’t chill about her coming back, it’s just submissive to the other wolves and waiting for it’s turn to show excitement.
Now I can see why we domesticated these adorable jerks.
plot twist, the greatest feat of earth is its food variety. All other planets only specialize in one food so humans are unique in that they have more than one kind of food. The cosmic goods find regularly visit earth to taste its cuisine and in exchange keep it from being destroyed by otherworldy forces.
