[video]
(Source: bad-4chan-literature, via dan-mcneely)
[video]
Seriously, melt them all down.
(via afallenwolf)
I’M DYING
Day 3 of 5
“Dear Citizen,
In order to deliver on our promise to save America, we knew we needed to tackle our country’s biggest issue: wealth inequality. The richest 0.1% of Americans have as much wealth as the bottom 90%.
Our lawyers wouldn’t let us pursue our first choice - a campaign to eat all the rich people and live in their homes - so we settled for something more achievable. Today, Card Against Humanity has redistributed your wealth.
Using the survey you filled out when you signed up, we identified the 100 poorest recipients and sent them each check for $1,000. To see how this $1,000 is impacting these peoples lives, read their stories at CardsAgainstHumanityRedistributesYourWealth.com. The next 10,000 poorest recipients got a $15 refund check.
You got nothing. And if you don’t like it, tough titties.
I love you,
Cards Against Humanity”
I was one of the 100 to get the check from these folks, and holy shit I was CACKLING at the hurt people on Facebook. Some people only cared about their precious $15 when it helped the poor.
Congrats! I’m thrilled that some of my $$$ went to people who needed it.
(via bloodsbane)
A Christmas Carol is so wild to me because it takes not one, not two, but like four fucking ghosts to convince this dude not to be the biggest douche in the universe. Like, four fucking ghosts came back from the dead, rose from the Goddamn grave to be like, “I came back from the dead because you need to quit your shit.” Fuck. How big of an asshole do you have to be to have four fucking ghosts tell you to stop?
Have you ever met a rich capitalist
Also, one of those ghosts was a rich capitalist douche. He needed to reform Scrooge to work off his own sentence, didn’t he?
Marley’s ghost basically told Scrooge that if he kept being a greedy douchebag he would go to hell and Scrooge still needed convincing and that honestly is 100% believable to me
That an old rich white guy being told “Your going to hell unless you help the poor” would respond by going “I still kind of want to NOT help the poor tho?”
Charlie Dickens knew what was up.
Honestly the more unbelievable part was that it only took four of them one night
(Source: clownmilf, via dan-mcneely)
(Source: dumbegg, via dan-mcneely)
u ever love a character until you see just like. a glimpse of canon art of them and say “i love the oc i fabricated out of that character’s pathetic shell of a personality, canon can suck my ass”
HOMIE U CANT SERVE A CHARACTER POORLY WHEN THEY DONT HAVE A CLEAR PERSONALITY IN CANON
(Source: stemmmm, via epic-divorceman)
“the fffuuuu rage face guy is actually the funniest joke” says st peter at he casts you out of heavens pearly gates. you clasp your sweaty palms together. “you mocked it"he said. “you thought it was shit”
(via dan-mcneely)
Aries: “I guess I’m ok with mine.”
Taurus: “Wow this makes me feel super confident.”
Gemini: “Half of me thinks this is stupid, the other half feels i may be an in-joke.”
Cancer: “Fucking unrealistic I hate this. Unfollowed.”
Leo: “Wow I DO like cats!”
Virgo: “I don’t act like that, this isn’t worth a reblog.”
Libra: “To be fair I did lick that swingset that one time.”
Scorpio: “This is total shit, they’re talking about spiders. It’s Scorpio, idiots.”
Sagittarius: “Wow this is like… So me… I feel it on a deep level. Horses, yeah.”
Capricorn: “Haha lol what?”
Aquarius: “Everyone knows astrology is fake you asshole.”
Peixes: “They spelled Pisces wrong???”
(Source: liquidstar, via moonpaw)