I was having a meeting with a company to write blogs for them. The client was the CEO of the company, but he also brought his marketing manager to the meeting (but didn’t let him say anything). The CEO was a straight salesperson and he’d obviously read somewhere that SEO is the way forward. It was a doomed conversation from the start and the poor marketing guy looked ready to cry.
Client: So I’m really just looking for great SPO.
Me: I’m not familiar with SPO. What’s that?
Client: (clearly annoyed) I’d have thought a writer would know all about Google ranking.
Me: Oh, you mean S-E-O? Yes, I agree it’s really important.
Client: Evidently not. Well, I just want great SPO.
Me: Okay, I can work on that. I charge X per blog, and…
Client: What kind of discount can you do?
Me: Pardon?
Client: Obviously we’d be looking for a discount.
Me: I couldn’t tell you until I’ve written up a proposal and looked over the project as a whole. What sort of topics are you looking for?
Client: Just as much SPO as possible. I want keywords to make up two-thirds of each paragraph, maybe in bold or caps.
I look over at the marketing guy, who looks miserable. This is clearly a recurring problem.
Me: …I’m sorry, but that kind of keyword density and formatting would make content almost unreadable.
Client: I know all about good SPO, just give me a discount and do as I say. I want us at the top of Google.
I sent them a proposal with the full amount, no concessions. I never heard back. I hope the marketing guy finds better work where his input is appreciated.
Imagine a fae who is just so mad about the idea of lying, like, I have spent a thousand years studying the subtle arts of deceit, weaving my spells of glamour and misdirection, and you, human, can just stand there and
say things
that aren’t true
“So yeah, I’m, uh, bright purple.”
“But you’re not! That’s not even plausible! How can you just - you are not even puce. Fine. Fine. Another one.”
